I just don't know what to do. All I can think of is the pills. They help make things a little easier. At least if you take enough. I just know i can't do this any more. I had such hopes for the ECT. I don't know where to turn from here. I just want to lay down and die.

Thing is, if you DO lay down and die then all your hopes are TRULY lost!
You just gotta get THROUGh this patch, even though it seems impossible, it's not, you just keep breathing in, and breathing out, and given time and enough breaths things will change. Sounds like there may still be hope for ECT, just try to hold on and wait for the change.
Xxxx

I'm here theresa. It helps so much you arent going through this alone. We all are suffering from this damn disease in one form or another, and perhaps keeping yourself in touch with us will really help to ease your pain.

Maybe it would help to make a list of all the positives in your life and things you are thankful for. It helps to shift your focus from the "hopeless" thoughts to the more positive mindstate.

I understand exactly the way you are feeling. Been feeling this way for a few days now. But there are good people here for you.

I am there too if you want to talk. We all have our cross to bear with this disease like my hair is falling out from the meds, stress who knows. It's awful. But you have people who love and care about you. So you can't give up. Do it for them if you can't do it for yourself right now. Things will get better.

Hey Theresa. Give yourself a break. You are just going through a TEMPORARY low right now. i know it feels life consuming but it is not. Ride it out knowing the change will come. Sometimes when I focus on the low I talk myself into a deeper gloom. Just say stop! I will feel better. it's like trying to reprogram your brain. we all need to introduce new thoughts it does work it did for me. Your a human being with strenghts and weaknesses. You will be fine. We have all been where you're at. Look we are still here!

Sweetie, I am here for you always. I love you very much. Try to hang in there. I know that you have the strength.