How do you know when cutting has consumed your life. I have lost an awesome relationship because of my cutting addition. My first cutting was not an attempt to cut myself I actually tried to kill myself and some what succeeded until a family member found me. I was committed to a mental hospital where the psychiatrist that I had said that I did it for attention they did not treat me for depression or anything My mom realized that it was my own personal way of crying out for help and she sought help for me.. I started intense therapy and was also treated for depression. Throughout high school I was treated for depression and had few cutting episodes. Once I reached college I was introduced to cutting as a way to manage stress and help cope with the extreme mood swings that I had. Soon after my family realized that I was cutting again I began seeing a Psychiatrist that diagnosed me as having bipolar type 1 which I have read that it is the worse and hardest to treat. I seemed to be getting better as her regulated my medicine. Then one day something triggered a major manic episode that caused me to cut so deeply that someone called the ambulance and took me to the ER. I was released later that night with stitches in my arms and legs. My psychiatrist once again upped my medication dosage. I have gotten worse due to the fact that I worked to much and was trying to take an 18 hour course load in school. I began cutting again and completely stopped my medications. I began cutting so deeply that I would pass out to find myself covered in blood. Eventually my parents picked up on the signs that I was cutting again, and together we sought serious treatment. Now I am medically excused from work and medically withdrawn from school. So basically my psychiatrist has placed me on bed rest and so much medication that I sleep all day and rarely eat anything But when I am awake the desire to cut is so strong that I end up breaking down and cutting Then it is time for me to take more medicine so that I can sleep. Even tough I have now become manic I still am cutting to keep my high Please someone help me and give me some advice Im not sure how much longer I can keep living as a zombie or as a constant cutter.. please talk to me..
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