Well, I'm not sure mouthy and disrespectful is really part of bipolar or a preteen gone wild. I think your husband should let you deal with him. I think you should try to get a rein though on your son's behavior because the older they get, the worse it could become. Whenever my daughter acts up I tell her that we don't talk to each other that way and when she can lower her voice we will converse. I think this should go for all kids, bipolar or not. I'm bipolar and I don't talk to people that way and didn't when I was younger,either.

For your son to succeed with the blow he's been dealt he needs two, together consistant parenting. Although my kids don't have BP (yet) they both have ADHD and will try and play one parent against another, fortunately through copious amounts of reading and research on the web we can see light at the end of the tunnel. You really need family counselling otherwise the situation is going to get worse especially when your 11-year-old hits puberty.

you know that reminds me of when i was a teen with bp. all my mother did was take the stuff i had to say to her and the crappy way i treated her and th ebad things i did. she'd make excuses for me to family members like 'she's going through a lot right now' and it was so but as i grew up and have grown with my bp i just wish at that point my mother would have used more tough love on me. i think it would have been more helpfull for me. but that's just my situation. and learning what you can is good. i often think knowlage of a illness of any kind is the first real medication.

family counseling will help.

I got advice from each of you hitting different aspects of part of my problem, thank you so very much. It helps to receive advice from people actually going through similar situations. As far as liz62, I just don't know the difference between mouthy and disrespectful and what can't be controlled. I am just afraid of setting him off. It's been such a bad week. My son had such a horrible rage last Saturday and has done nothing but say he wants to die or it would be better if he was dead or he wants to kill himself. This morning has been the first day he has really acted like absolutely nothing has happened the past week. Junggl, I feel the same way, he needs BOTH parents support. What do I do when the other parent won't have any part of it? FallenStar83, thank you for your experience, I will definitely keep that in mind, along with the simplest advice of all from MikeM, family counseling. I know we are going to need that, but I doubt his stepfather would participate.

Hi tmeeder,
My son was dx with pediatric bipolar at the age of 7. It's a whole different illness symptom wise than with adults. Hopefully you've done some research on kids. The Bipolar Child by Demitri Popolus is excellent, as is www.bpkids.org and for speciial education help try www.wrightslaw.com I can't say enough about arming yourself with info on kids and their symptoms.

I used to be able to tell the difference with Josh between him yanking my chain and truly being out of control and psychotic by his face; his eyes would glaze over and his whole expression would be blank -- a true "nobody's home expression. Scary stuff, all you can do is maintain safety at that time.

If you want to message me, feel free. BTW, Josh is 20 now and doing great, starts his summer job tomorrow and just came home from a date. Life does get better. Love to you, Mary

PS -- Wish your hubby would just learn a little so he could understand how these kids tick. Perhaps the more you learn, you'll be able to slowly educate him too. Unfortunately, his approach will set your son off even more.