I had an interesting psych visit last week. It was for med management.
It was pouring down the rain and I mean you could not see the car in front of you when we got there. It is less than a mile from my home so I wan't too worried about it.
I got there and the building isn't very handicapped friendly and I almost fell as my cane slipped a few times.
I got to the back of the building and pushed the elevater button and the power to the building went out but immediately came back on. I pushed the button again and again the power went out.
Needless to say I was not pushing it a third time.
I tried calling my psych provider and the phones were down in the building along with the computers.
My provider called my cell and came down the stairs to where I was and we had our appointment there hushing when people came by.
Some kind gentelmen got me a chair as I was in a lot of pain before she got down to me and bless his kind heart that helped me so much.
I told the doc I have been depressed and the situations as to why I have been depressed. We both agreed that my upcomming vacation might help get me back on the right path in regard to my depression.
If it does not then I will make a decision as to what to do then therapy or meds or whatever it is that I need to do to stay alive. I mean this literally because bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder (my diagnoses) have high suicide rates and that isn't an option. I won't do that to my kids even though they are grown.
Sometimes it is harder to say I'll live FOR you.
My provider J and I agree that throwing meds at my current depression isn't the answer.
I also know that I have to live with myself and that I can't move and expect things to suddenly be better. I've tried that 4 times and it doesn't work.
Going on vacation isn't the same thing as trying to make a geographic move. I can't get away from myself no matter how much I'd like to sometimes.
Hubby and I both decided to relax on vacation and not make a lot of firm plans. Some time with family, going out to eat with them and perhaps playing games like Phase 10 or Rummy. Going to the beach, watching the sunrise in darkness seeing all the stars above us what a sight that is! BEAUTIFUL.
There are are about 8 firm days planned on an 18 day vacation. This includes travel time. I could just chill by the pool and watch the ocean at the same time.
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