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My nephew..what to do?

deleted_user
deleted_user
My 10 year old nephew has a diagnosis of ADHD/Bipolar/Post Traumatic Stress, he is in behavior classes at school and is doing good but when he is on the bus he acts up. He screams, runs, will not sit, and causes trouble. I have done everything to help him stop a far as correcting him. He just will not or can not mind?! His parents are drug addicts, one is my sister, and they have put him through hell and back, but CPS took him from them and gave me custody, he rarely sees them. They both showed up at 5am and wanted me to let them get him ready for school, I told them to leave, they were wasted and they scare me when they are high. He asked why I made them leave, I told him they needed to get permission to come over and we all have rules, he said "They were high weren't they" and I had to say the truth. I told held him and told him that no kid his age should have to see this and he told me that I would not believe the things he has seen and that it was ok. How do I help him without screwing him up more?
deleted_user
deleted_user
That's really hard. You just have to care for him and support him. Show him he can live a normal life. Lead by example. Don't be afraid to be stern and discipline when necessary.

Treat him with respect and let him know his boundaries. It's going to be a long process with a lot of work involved.
deleted_user
deleted_user
poor baby. i'm so sorry. good for you for taking care of him, and for your obvious concern. i think that you care so much, means your on the right path. love, love is the most important thing. love, listen, talk, and just show you care.
deleted_user
deleted_user
yes... and boundaries.

children thrive on boundaries and routine.
Marilyanna
Marilyanna
You are doing wonderfully. You sound loving and caring. First of all the schoo dist, show have a special ed bus and the kids are strapped in call them (Transportation). Second their should be councelors at the school start with them. Free. He needs to talk to someone to even you about what he has 'seen". Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are wonderful person .:) He is so lucky to have you.As you may already know from on here my 9 yr old son has BP/OCD/ADD he is on meds and goes to therapy regularly that helps alot making the school aware of everything is very important.It may be that his meds are needing adjusted that is usually what happens when my son starts acting out.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, you got your hands full .But listen have you ever had the childs IQ checked who did all these diagnouses any way .Many children are misdiagnoused because of behavior problums I have heard that half of these children just turned out to have superior IQs and were just to smart for the people around them to handle. As you can see by my poor spelling Im not one of them Heh Heh
deleted_user
deleted_user
Is he in counseling? The ADD/BP/PTSD must be difficult enough for him without the instability of parents. It might help? My son had a difficult time being on a regular bus too. Fine at school, bus was hell. Maybe ask him if it's too loud or someone is giving him a hard time? Too much stimulation?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yeah, its so difficult this little boy has been through so much and yet in some ways what he has been through would make him so mature. But he is not ready to be mature. He is still a small boy.
He needs stability something you are providing. He needs to feel safe, that he can trust you and your love. Boundaries, love and respect will give him these things in time. Try talking with him as to why he is acting out on the bus. Is he being bullied. Is he angry? Does he even know why? Talk with him in a non accusory way and he may open up. Does he talk much now.

My nephew has been through a very similar thing and doesnt attend normal school at all. He is ADHD, suffers ptsd has a drug addict for a mother who has abandoned him to his grandmother and non functioning father.
Its is so rough on the kids. But with love and kindness I am sure you will make a difference.
Sorry for the long reply. I hope it helps in some way. Here if you need to talk. Sam x
deleted_user
deleted_user
Have you ever asked him how he feels about the bus? Is there something that scares him? Kids that tease him? A girl he is showing off for? Or something we can't even imgine? maybe ther is something that can be remedied. But have the conversation calmly, sorta outta the blue. Not while you are mad or having to set boundries around something.
Blessings on you for this hard journey!
deleted_user
deleted_user
books i've read that are fantastic...

Children Are From Heaven, John Gray

Discipline without Shouting or Spanking, Jerry Wyckoff, PhD

Parenting with Spirt, Jane Bartlett
deleted_user
deleted_user
I want to offer support and advice but myhead is flying 2 million mph.

so i just want you to know how great your doing and that he has the best support in you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Scarlett he does complain about the noise on the bus and the bus driver does say he sometimes shouts out "everybody please shut up", Aunt, I never thought of the disability bus, I will call the school tomorrow. He has been in the psych. hospital 4 times and sees a home counselor 2x a week and a school counselor 3x a week, he meet with the psychiatrist every 3 months. He was also molested in foster care. He becomes mine on Dec.4th but he wants his mommy and daddy so bad. he draws all sorts of violent pictures and say inappropriate things at strangers when we 1st meet them and I can see the look on their face, I tell him not to tell people certain things but it does not sink in.
deleted_user
deleted_user
he is not going to want to ride the disab. bus... that would be so traumatic for him. he's 10 right. he doesn't need that stigma.

patience... you have to remember he's never been shown proper behavior. he has to learn, from the beginning, from you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is true Cam, I hope I do this right, I have had him 2yrs and this still upset me to correct him, he will be here in 10 minutes and my husband just got home to help me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My daughter has sensory dysfuntion. I am not going to go into details about it, it too long. All adhd kids have some form of it. The bus, closed in, loud noises perfect hell for these kids (adhd and SD). I got special permission from school to let her use her IPOD on the bus, it works great. I think the structure and love you are giving is wonderful.
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