It is so hard unlocking the past. It is so scary to feel and remember things that have torchured your soul for so many years. But, your therapist is doing the best thing in the world for you by getting you to face your demons.
Hubby's are not always supportive, pray to God about what has happened, he will always listen w/o judgment. Pray for change, pray for help.

It is good that you are opening up to your husband. He is a different human being, coming from a different place in life. His answers won't be exactly what you want him to say, but he is trying to help. Give him a chance.

Honey, honestly, those are typical responses from a husband who feel helpless. He doesnt know how to help you yet. You have to remember, you are just opening up to him and you need to give him time to absorb it all. Continuing to talk to him over and over and helping him understand your feelings will be the best therapy you can ever give yourself. Please trust me on this. I have been where you are with horrendous experiences in my life. The first time I started opening up people said the same things. But with time, they began to understand and the communication was so beneficial for me and continues to be. We have so much bundled up inside us that we havent shared it is scarey to begin to share. Give him some time, continue talking, and see where it goes. Just getting it out over and over will relieve the hold it has over you. You are beginning by opening up, now you need to continue so you can continue to heal. Please, honey, you "are" doing the right thing, just keep sharing. You are not a joke, you are filled with anger and sadness over the things that have happened in your life. You can heal and be better. You are such a wonderful person and I, for one, luv you.

I just wanted hubby to listen and then maybe some comforting words.Instead he is accusing my Dad of acts he DID not commit.My Dad was A LOT of crappy things but ...NOT a child molester...I was telling him the truth.
I made him promise not to tell anyone and he did.

But now I have this hole in my stomach....like a "shame" feeling for telling him.
AGGGHH

The shame feeling is a normal response too honey. You are sharing parts of your life and soul that you havent and it is shakey to do that. We keep it in so long as our secret and then when we share we feel shame for it. It is part of the process of healing and we all go through it. It is almost like a grieving process because you are loosing a part of yourself that used to be "just yours" and you are beginning to let it go. But ultimately you will begin to heal. Your husband has probably been speculating alot of things in his own head because you havent been sharing. People do that when they dont know the truth or facts. Be patient. It wasnt fair of him to share your info with others but then maybe he needed to share to understand himself. Keep communicating, make sure he know how you feel. It is important that you dont shut down but continue to share. It will help you understand yourself so much better and will allow others to understand you too.

Ok 1whoruns, You don't know what demons your husband is running from, himself. the fact that he wants to accuse your Dad of something awful, tells me that just maybe, he's got a Dad that did some pretty terrible stuff to him.
And who's to say that your husband is 100% mentally healthy?
a little defense for you,ya think?

I made him promise to not share my lifetime of suicidal ideation and acts of self harm and I told him specifically not to tell my doc's.
I havent told Pdoc or T the gorry details of my past or present because I think they will send me to a hospital.
My brother was in a psych hopital from the age of 13 on and off for years.This absolutly TERRIFIED me hense my lack of disclosure and trust.

I've noticed my husband grows very tired of my ups and downs. I do tend to be very self centered and things are always about me and how I'm feeling. Heck normies have ups and downs to but don't constanly talk about it. I know thats why I get that additude from mine and yes it still hurts.

Hi, 1whoruns.
Outside of the one about your dad, there's a lot of truth in what he said and is pretty typical of the things people tend to say, in that sort of situation. And if that's what he believes about your dad, then that is what he believes, at least for this moment.
It's often helpful to keep in mind that even when something that someone says is very hurtful and feels like it's a cruel shot, that it's not necessarily meant to be.
I've had a lot of therapy over the years, much of it very helpful and one of the things I have learned is that when you finally reach a 'breakthrough' and voice the things you feared voicing, that things then get a little worse before they get better. And NOW is the time that you should really keep at it, if you want it to get better.
If what you want is for the other person to just listen and to do nothing more than offer words of comfort, then it is best to state that right up front and to ask them if they are willing to do that.
I really think that you should talk to your husband again, very soon. This time, about how the last talk affected you. And ask if he can just listen.
But this time will be much harder for him to keep quiet about than it would have the last time, had he been asked to, because he most likely did NOT mean the things he said last time in the way that you took them and will therefore feel he's being unjustly attacked and will want to defend himself.
If you think about your last talk with him and decide that he perhaps WASN'T being mean or thoughtless, then you would be wise to preface your next talk with him by first acknowledging that, but that at the time, that's what it felt like to you. He'll be able to listen much better if he feels that you realize that he's trying to help, which he probably was.
If you stop trying to be open with him now, then things are even worse off than they were, because now this hurt has thrown up an even bigger wall between you. And it is so worth knocking that wall down.
The breach of trust is a very big thing and is touching you on your trust issue.
If you can't or won't talk about the things that bother you now, at least be open about that. Tell everyone -- husband, therapist, Pdoc -- that you are too afraid to open up right now. That you don't trust them enough to do it.
You'll get much further in your therapy if you can completely open up in there, and it's quite likely that the therapist realizes that you are not, as that is a very common thing that they deal with and they are trained to know it when they see it. Try to stick with it. With time, you may be able to build up enough trust to open up and then deal with everything.
It's the only way, short of a miracle, that you will be able to heal all the pain that you carry.
Or at least, that's how it was, for me.
The best of luck to you!!! I am sorry that now you feel even worse than you already did, and I hope the day comes when you will be from all the 'crap' stuff!!!
Take care!!!!

It is rare to block out something as intense as being molested by a parent. That is a myth perpetuated by movies. Life is what you make it, BS. If that's true, why aren't all "normals" Astronauts or Rock Stars or why haven't they all saved the world from war & ozone depletion? Life throws hardballs often times. It's your choice to open up or not & if you not getting a good reception, I'd open up to a good therapist b4 trusting the husband.

ditto. it really isn't always about us.

Im afraid to open up to T because I dont want to threatened with a hosp stay.Im sure I would run and really freak if I was committed.
As I mentioned before I seen my brother ripped from our family to a psych hosp,I just couldnt handle that.

The probability of you ending up in a psych hospital will increase if your "dont" share. If you begin to share and stay with it, you will begin to heal instead of manifesting your problems in a more damaging way. Keeping seriously stressful life issues in can manifest in physical and mental illnesses that can cripple us for life. It is in the sharing and working through that we begin to move forward, heal, and build a positive life for ourselves. You can do this honey, you are strong and I admire that you took the first step. Your Therapist will be more objective then you think and could be a very important axis to your journey.