Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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My husband has left due to my Bipolar, please help

deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband of 8 years has left our marriage due to him not handleing the Bipolar rollercoaster. I have only recently been diagosed with the disorder, as previously was thought to be severe depression. He says he cannot live with someone that is like this anymore. He has so much hate for me, even though deep down he says he still loves me. I get so confused. I have been married 3 times and I do love my husband.I understand he should not have to put up with my illness but it is easier said and done. I allowed him to get freedom and run away from me now I regret this.He always prided himself on loyalty and honour and this is not proven true, as he has left me behind to deal with it all alone. I am at my end to know what to do, I have 2 beautiful children teenagers that I am very lucky to have but sometimes feel that they would be much better off without me. I really need help to get better but my family will not help and I have no real close friends, I feel so alone and trapped dealing with all this shit. Some days I feel like I could take on the world others I hate. I am moving house next week and I am all alone. I donot know what to do. If my husband really loved me then he would have never left. For sickness and in health I think that was the promise, please help me get through this, I feel so alone. I am in need of help but not sure where to go what to do. I am only on Lexapro antidepressant until I get to see my Doc to prescribe mood stablizer whenever I can get in.... Has anyone been in this situation please give me some advice on how to deal with a partner that wants to be friends and be part of your life, but does not want to be in it as a permanent husband.
alicia29
alicia29
Kaz24, I hear your frustration, and I feel your pain. Many of us here have lost SO's and spouses due to BP. I wish I had something to offer you that would console you, but I don't. The fact is that love is a choice, and sadly, one that is all too often made only in the "best" of times. No matter how unconditionally WE love, it's impossible to make someone else CHOOSE to love us through the "worst". Sometimes, for me, it's a little easier to deal with, just knowing that it's not your fault, because it's out of your control. Hope this helps, and here if you ever wanna talk! Hugs~
deleted_user
deleted_user
while there is nothing i can do to bring back your husband as a "husband" but have you confornted him truely about this
"redtape- nojitsu" - where you make it like a political debate where feeling are not involved it just facts with a few comments it might help if you like to talk and explain more on this id be glad to
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been lucky to have a man that has stuck by me. But it could happen to me just as easy. Don't give up on yourself and get in to your doc as soon as possible. The best way to get control is to get the disorder under control. Then your husband will see the real you. You kids will not be better off without you. Get that idea out of your head now.
Marilyanna
Marilyanna
Let him take the kids and you have quantity visiting rights. for starters.
deleted_user
deleted_user
In my experience men don't stick through illness as well as women do. Some lucky ladies have them. I, like you, was not one of them. Screw them, I say. I do not cast my pearls before swine.

I doubt you will find it healthy to be his 'friend.' Find a divorce and bipolar support group, make some new friends there, and you will find a man who has a set.

In the meantime, get all the money from him that is your due. Hopefully, your doc will put you on Lamictal. Like you, I was first diagnosed with depression for years. I find lamictal (lamotrigine) a lifesaver, as many do.
Shelly4
Shelly4
Honey, I am sorry you are going through this, it must feel devastating. I have been married for 23 years and it has been a constant work to keep our marriage balanced when I am not. We began when we met, working on constant communication with one another. I communicate every day, how I feel so my husband and kids know if my mood is about them or the disorder. Maybe you have tried this with your husband already. Communication is very important or they begin to feel isolated and guilty themselves for how you feel. That is the hardest thing for the spouse to deal with, the guilt they feel when they shouldnt. It is a good thing you are going to a pdoc, he can help you with the right meds. A therapist is very important to help you work through your issues. A therapist can also help you work to conquer and understand your ups and downs and to learn coping skills to use. Coping skills are also very important to minimize the impact your cycles will have on you and your children and husband. I wish there was more I could say but there is no magic wand or quick fix. It will take alot of work and effort to balance and understand. Much love and prayers. Shelly
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry for you. I know I am so so so very blessed with my husband. He has never given up on me even when I gave up on myself. I have attempted suicied twice and been hospitalized once. Put us beyond financial dissaster. Cheated once and even had him arrested. But he has always been right there for me. I would have never made it without his support. He amazes me daily.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am with you I understand your pain.
My wife only comes home a couple nites a week now.
I now its me . I gwt so grouchy sometimes. Not ot her but I keep it on the inside.
Why cant I not feel this crap and then be normal.
deleted_user
deleted_user
All I can say is that I am so terribly sorry to hear what you are going through. I can't give much advice because I am in the same EXACT situation as you are. hugsxx
deleted_user
deleted_user
This brings back so many memories. And you are right, what happened to "Till Death do us part" or "In sickness and in health"? All I can say here is that people that are not BP will never understand it. They can't, it's not possible. They can educate themselves to the issues, but will never understand. I went through this same thing just over a year ago. It still seems so recent. I live alone now, my daughter comes over every other weekend and whenever she wants to. But 90 percent of the time I'm alone. I have 2 cats. They help. The best thing I could say to do would be to get your meds straight first. If you are BP, Lexapro can actually hurt you. It can cause mania. If your husband really loved you, this wouldn't be happening. Everything happens for a reason. Belive that. Stay strong, take care of yourself first and foremost. And don't say that your children would be better off without you. That's not true. You are Mom. Just hang in there, don't do anything stupid. This to shall pass. Good luck.
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