Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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I trusted a guy again and had my heart ripped to pieces. The part the makes me the maddest is that I asked him from day if he wanted to see other people. I guess I was just the one who wasnt suppose to be seeing anyone else besides him and its okay for him to spend weekends with his lady friend.
We have talked almost everyday multiple times for the last 5 months. Up till a few weeks ago we had spent every weekend together for over a month. If nothing else I though he would always end up being my good friend but who plays head games and hurts their friends like he's hurt me. Why didnt he just be honest with me. When she came along I asked him what if he wanted to see her too and he insisted that she was just a friend. Yeah, she drives 3 hours to spend the night or weekend with him at his place and sleeps in his bed. At first he said he slept on the couch and last time she was there he said he slept in the bed with his clothes on. I wanted to believe it so bad. He knows how bad it hurts me and he called me tonight to tell me he was meeting her and they were going somewhere. I just have to end it, he's playing games and hurting me so bad. The problem is that I hurt so bad without him too. I hate this.. I'm sorry for going on and on about my pathetic situation.. I just need to vent.. I'm hurting so bad and I'm so mad at myself for being so needy and stupid. All I want is a companion and to not be alone anymore. but I guess I'm just meant to be alone cause every guy that I ever have cared for, trusted or let myself get close to always hurts me.
We have talked almost everyday multiple times for the last 5 months. Up till a few weeks ago we had spent every weekend together for over a month. If nothing else I though he would always end up being my good friend but who plays head games and hurts their friends like he's hurt me. Why didnt he just be honest with me. When she came along I asked him what if he wanted to see her too and he insisted that she was just a friend. Yeah, she drives 3 hours to spend the night or weekend with him at his place and sleeps in his bed. At first he said he slept on the couch and last time she was there he said he slept in the bed with his clothes on. I wanted to believe it so bad. He knows how bad it hurts me and he called me tonight to tell me he was meeting her and they were going somewhere. I just have to end it, he's playing games and hurting me so bad. The problem is that I hurt so bad without him too. I hate this.. I'm sorry for going on and on about my pathetic situation.. I just need to vent.. I'm hurting so bad and I'm so mad at myself for being so needy and stupid. All I want is a companion and to not be alone anymore. but I guess I'm just meant to be alone cause every guy that I ever have cared for, trusted or let myself get close to always hurts me.
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I made an earlier post about weed titled "Does weed effect us differently?". I think I may have misjudged the situation. I had a bad trip on my first try, but I ended up smoking the rest and also tried "delta 8" (basically the same a weed). I ended up having a really good experience, but now I'm worried I may like it too much. I can't decide if I should completely abstain or not.on the one hand,...
The problem is that all of that is much easier said than done.
I definitely feel your pain, I guess from long ago, because I found myself crying at the end of the post.
I'm sorry.
Take care of yourself and feel better soon.
I, along with others, feel the same way. And we meet people along the path that we think are right, and never leave it up to matters of the heart. We think about with our head.
My experience with this in the past has been HORRIBLE. I am JUST starting to learn to think with my heart instead. I think I mean I am listening to my spirit, and not the bullshit the world feeds me, but it is so hard to hear, when we live in a storm all the time.
I once had a psych tell me that most people go through 50 to 70 "dates" before they find one to be comfortable with...
I told her I'd be 70 before i got that far....lol
This is going to sound SOOOO corny, but listen to your inside... not the noise in your head.
I thought I was listening to my heart because something told me that he was different. I didnt see him because he was good looking because he wasn't infact the first time we met I almost didnt see him again because I thought he was ugly. But we continued to chat everyday online for hours and hours every night and I grew to care for him deeply. I went from saying that I would never allow myself to be seen with him to wanting to go places with him. I saw him in a completely different way. It would be as hard but up until just over a week ago we texted or talked during the day and chatted almost everynight for the last 5 months. I have thought of him as my best friend up till now. I wanted so much to believe it when he tried to say she was just a friend but something told me it was more. I thought it was just my fear of being hurt or jealocy. Even as I type this I wish in the back of my head that it was true. But if she was just a friend than he would have us meet. And he hasn't. I dont even know if she knows about me.
2. Learn to love yourself more.
3. Kick him in DA NUTZ again!
They see kindness and love in someone who wants so much to be loved back and the next thing you know, BOOM, your heart is shattered again.
I have just gone through a very difficult break up. The relationship lasted 5 years although it was long distance...it is still very painful to me.
I think the bottom line for me is I will not accept crumbs again...they start out paying lots of attention to us and then slowly, but surely, begin leaving a crumb trail for us to follow.
I know this sounds cynical, but it is how I feel.
There are some good men out there. Sadly, most of them are married or taken.
You are in my thoughts as you heal. I know how badly it hurts. I "shut down" for 7 years before I got involved again and wasted 5 years with a man who I thought loved me but didn't.
I have some good memories too, but there were definitely some huge red flags I overlooked because I was already in love with him.
I am going to try to learn to better recognize the red flags and end the relationship immediately instead of getting sucked in and having the life sucked right out of me.
Peace be with you.
I agree with the others, if you end it, it will hurt for a while.
If you don't, it will hurt forever until you finally give up.
Re the last part, this might seem really cruel to say now, but..have a look at the guys you are choosing, perhaps something that is attracting you to them is also the reason it isn't working out? I'm not blaming it on you in any way and don't think about it now, but perhaps in the future consider it?
i hate to admit, i have so been there, and felt like such a sucker punch after punch.
it was a loooong lesson to learn, but that was the first step...bringing the denial out in the open...so, GOOD FOR YOU...first step accomplished...!!
i think things come for you once you are ready...i wasn't ready for my huz a minute before i met him...i would never have appreciated him because i didn't know what i really wanted and needed prior to that minute in time because i was hanging on to losers like the one you're describing.
but.
one day, once i had come out of my denial and realized them for the lyin' cheatin' fools that they were, i decided that i would and could not be walked all over like that anymore. ever again.
that was the second step.
and THAT DAY i showed up at the door of the loser i was currently dating and told him that his divided attentions and smoke and mirrors were not enough for me and that i was done.
he was surprised, but he did not try to woo me back with 'but i love you' lines like before when i'd left in the heat of anger...he just let me go and it felt dmn good, actually.
and that was the third and final step.
and then my huz came along not long after...so...i guess what i'm saying is...
maybe you get what you ask for...subconsciously...in a weird way...
and maybe it's time to change up your dinner order a bit, so to speak...
but in the meantime, my heart goes out to your heartbreak...
and the bitch in me says: ditch that loser. he is in the way of you and your REAL man.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, sL
I almost did something really stupid earlier. I drove by his place and I was going to stop and walk up to the door and tell him I needed my birthcontrol that I left there. I wanted her to know that he's playing her too! But I stopped myself because I would of just made an ass out of myself by doing that.
I hate going throught this kind of hurt.. it hurts my self esteem also and it already not so great. I am going from crying to being angry and wanting to alsh out at him. I feel like such a psycho bitch! My eyes feel so swollen from crying and I'm feeling tired but I'm afraid if I go to sleep now that I wont sleep again tonight. I only got about 4 hours last night. I'm tempted to get some over the counter sleeping pills and when I go wake to up Ill take a few more so I can be numb nnd sleep for a few days off. I hate being a psycho bitch! I hate all the feelings that Im feeling! I hate the hurt, I hate the anger, I even hate more that part of me is tempted to just over fucking look all this and still talk to the bastard! I pray that I will be strong and walk away! This is no good for me to allow someone to treat me this way! It bullshit! I'm such a stupid loser.
I got hurt so bad by my ex and the guy after him that I so I didn't see anyone for 13 years! And I gave it a try and look what happens! I guess I'm just meant to be alone. I wish I had friend to do things with but the ones that I have are out of town or too wrapped up in their families to have time for me. I wish I had an appt with my counselor this week but she was all booked up.
I know that I will look back on this and almost laugh someday but its getting to that point thats going to be soo damn tough. Its suppose to be a beautiful weekend out and I have no desire to go out let alone eat. The not eating part can be benefical except that it will turn into me wanting to eat everthing in sight to drown my sorrows. Pretty bad when you have to get your pleasure out of eating food instead of having good sex. I would rather the sex but thats a joke now!
I jst told her today that I met a man named Jack who blows leaves off of parking lots, been div twice lives withhis mother in Redmond and is ina 12 step program for drugs and alcohol but had accepted Jesus Christ 3 months ago so I knew he was special and I had invited himto my apt for dinner tonight. She came UNGLUED. I ung up on her. How does she know? I might have God running thru my vveins too just like she does...lol
I dont know you well, but I have noticed how kind your responses are to everyone here. You are clearly a caring, intelligent, classy woman. And, if your avitar is a pic of you, you are beautiful inside and out.
It hurts so much when you think you have found someone special, only to realize that perhaps you are not as special to them. That is not your fault, it is stupidity, probably immaturity, and selfishness on HIS part.
I certainly have been in your shoes before. I have found it took me getting good and angry about someone daring to use me and not treat me as well as I deserved, including getting angry with myself for letting them, for me to move on.
As searchlight said, this guy was nearly from the beginning not invested in a committed relationship. He doesnt sound like relationship material to me. So the other girl *Wins* the prize... lucky her. NOT!
However BrianWilson, tryin2live and Super sound like relationship candidates. And you know what, we women keep going for the bad boys...
Give a nice guy a chance next time.
Do something nice for yourself this weekend... be good to yourself!