in a bad way. it tells me that everyone is watching me, that they want to hurt me. but sometimes...it has in all sorts of stories, true and fiction to keep me entertained

When I'm having trouble getting to sleep I weave this whole story in my head about me doing all kinds of things. Better than counting sheep....

uhh, maybe when i'm stoned, otherwise my brains against me...the bastard, lol

C'mon guys - think funny, creative, warped, twisted ...but not mean, scary, negative - save that for another post. This is meant to be fun!!

My entertains me when I keep myself busy. If I dwell on problems that seem overwhelming i get depressed. I have to be creative and find other ways to work out the feelings even if it is a drunken party it causes no one any harm and it's a silly outlet for hiding my true feelings and not hurting anyone. Support on this venue is key.

yeah, it's all about what your mood is.

storm - LOL. Love ya, sweetums!!

My brain isn't all that entertaining...well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. I used to like Roller Coasters, but I don't really like them anymore. I get sick on anything that goes in circles too much.

I guess I'm just sick then. haha

hanna,
interesting way of looking at it. even circles can be entertaining from time to time tho, no?

I used to be in Hell just waiting for two hours in a Blood Test Queue.

Now, my head writes a poem or a song or just gives me invisible rhythms.I reach home and write it in Word.

Time don't hurt if yr head has survived the worst.

pluck,
exactly. the advantage of the bp brain is often tangential or web thinking. one idea sparking the next. that creative edge. wish we could switch the evil voices that try to manipulate our minds into the creative ones at will.

Its funny all last year my brain put me in technicolour, super-sensual Paradise. This year I am in between Purgatory and Hell. All its inventiveness and energy is being put into constructing my identity as a talentless, alienated anti-heroine in a world drained of meaning. Last year I was Queen of the Universe - I could feel the pulsating heart of existence and every grain of sand told a vibrant story etc etc. Thats the thing about the bp brain - you can never change channels - just gotta watch whatever movie's playing and be totally sucked in til you cant tell what reality is. Any tips for taking a step back? (Im not just talking about psychosis here - just the powerful extremes of interpretation Brain throws at you).

I remember that.
It's Sod's Law though.
If you tell someone " It'll be okay with time " it IS true......but NOT so too.

When we are in that place...I can't remember time.Only after.

kinga,
as usual your post is intelligent, well-written, and right-on. all i can say is -you're right. such is the life of the bp brain.

I think of Callee sitting on the train thinking why the hell do I go to DS?? Crazy peeps!!! Oh yeah, I'm one of them! Then, you pic up that pill on your avatar and start another day...mastering the universe! ;) You make me laugh! Thanks!