Hi there I know it's not a BP topic but BP comes largly into it.A few years ago when I was with my ex I had a misscarriage,the reason I fell pregnant was because I was manic at the time.Then about a year later I had a huge manic episode and ended up sleeping around.I fell pregnant a second time to a friend of mine.I had another misscarrige and this one hit me really hard.I have never told him what happened,only a few of my best friends know.The thing is that it really effects me at times,I get very sad and feel lost.I want to cry sometimes when I see new mums and their babies.I know what I did was very dumb and stupid but I couldn't control myself due to the mania and hyposexuality.I wasn't medicated(am now).I regret it coz it's made my friendship with him a little hard.We were both to blame,he was very drunk and didn't use protection.I don't know if I should tell family that I'm living with(they are full on christians)I just don't know what to do,it also effects my moods.Sometimes I get really depressed about it and think maybe I deserve this mess. :( In some ways I'm glad I never had them coz I'm single and only 23.
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