I saw my psych dr on Thursday and told her that I cold turkey'ed the meds (I know I'm not supposed to b/c it could have, in theory, made me sick but I've stopped this same cocktail a million times before this way and I've been fine), so please don't tell me this could have ended up bad b/c I already know. Anyway, I told the dr that I wanted to change my meds and so she tried to force one of my old anti-depressants on me...I was having none of it b/c I have had elevated manic episodes on two antidepressants, one of which is NOT particularly known for causing more mania. Things elevated to just short of screaming at each other before the session ended, but I did end up on another med (carbamazapine sp?) and I am adamant about NOT going on another antidepressant b/c of the mania/elevated cycling risks. So anyway, in the session she told me that antidepressants do NOT make things worse...they either make things better or have no effect at all. UHM, I hated to break it to her, but this is NOT true! Even the NIMH Govt website says that drs should be extremely careful about prescribing antidepressants to bipolar people b/c it can induce more cycling. I think she thinks I was just looking to blame my frequent cutting on something...but the truth of the matter is that I am cycling like crazy, and when I am manic I cut...so in a round about way, the meds could be elevating my SI behavior...I am not looking to blame my SI on something, but why take an unnecessary risk of taking a med that could make my mania worse?!?! Anyway, b/c of my school med insurance plan, I only have one other psych dr option left before I have to start paying 100% out of pocket...I don't have an appointment with her for another week and a half, so I hope it works out. If she gives me the same crap about antidepressants not making things worse for bipolar people, then I will not hesitate to find another dr...I am broke, but my health is very important and I need to get my cycling under control. My mom had a psych dr appt on the same day, a few hours after mine...right after my appt I called her b/c I was on the edge of doing something very stupid (ie extremely agitated) and she said she would talk to her dr about my situation...he said DUH! Any dr who knows anything about bipolar illness knows that you have to be extremely careful about giving bipolar people antidepressants b/c it can induce rapid cycling. I hate drs...especially those who don't know anything...The dr that I have been seeing pretty much makes me come to HER with what medication I want to take...WTF? Why do I have to be the one who tells her what medication is best for me?!?! Isn't she the one with the 4 year medical degree and years of experience? So why is it that I know more than her about bipolar meds?!?!
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