I know very little just an update this morning from my brother-in-law said that she was having trouble breathing and not really able to walk or stand and they think she is probably septic. I haven't come here and I have avoided Facebook except for to browse to pass the time because I'm struggling with feeling like people will judge me. No I am not at the hospital I don't even know which hospital she's at I have an idea but.. There's nothing I can do there and my mom would not want that! I'm here and i'm coping the only way I know how. I have had a pretty much constant dialogue with Lisa my therapist and with Michael, right now that's my lifeline! I feel at peace as far as my relationship with my mother I think I am respecting her wishes in the best way I know how and I know she knows how much I love her and I don't have to be at her bedside like some vigil to prove that. Our last conversation yesterday was wonderful I was happy and if it really truly is our last conversation it gives me peace! I'm grateful for Michael because he had the courage to say something no one else would and I don't want to share it verbatim here because it's sacred but it had to do with praying that she would not suffer and be with God and it gave me peace! Something Lisa told me years ago is in my heart right now and the cool thing is I can actually hear her saying it to me and I felt silly at first telling her about it in my email to her today but I realize what a blessing it is and what a comfort it is helped me remember I'm not alone
It has been a long time since on this site but I have hit a rough spot and just need support just very hesitant. I guess baby step is the way to go.
I've fallen into to black hole of depression, again. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Everything that has happened because of coronavirus stinks!I lost my PT job, I can't visit my boyfriend or anyone else, vacation plans on hold and there's not many places to go.Before this, I felt like I was starting to get ahead. I had plans for moving for in my life and now they're gone. I've had...