My ex has my children and I only get to see them every couple to three weeks for a weekend. I find it really hard when they have visited and then leave. I get really depressed. As time goes on I start to get a bit better because I know they will be visiting soon, but once they leave again the whole vicious circle begins. I am really miserable and can't stop thinking of death. I don't think I will ever get used to this. The pain I feel inside is tremendous. I keep thinking that I should be tucking them up in bed or doing something with them. I'm finding it really difficult. I've missed out on so much of their growing up.
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