I have BP and severe depression along with rage. I know these are all part of the BP, but these 2 are my biggest problems. I go off about every little thing and end up treating the 2 most important people in my life like shit. I would lay down my life for my wife and daughter. I am sick to death of the rage and then the following depression and thoughts of suicide. To be blunt, I hate me and being me. I wish to god I was never born. I know I am blowing it with my daughter, I already see signs of her being scared of me. She prefers my wife over me and whenever I start to punish her she crys for mommy. I do not beat her or even whip her, if I do anything other than yell it is a simple smack on the but with my hand. That is the worse of the physical contact, but I do yell and scream when she does something REAL bad. For example, today she pissed in her pants on my couch, and I went off, calling her a big baby and telling her I was going to put her back in diapers if she doesn't grow up and stop being so lazy. So now the question... How do you make someone love you, when you don't even like yourself?
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