Hi mrtim!
Are there any groups that your wife can join (even on DS) for friends and family members of BP's? Kinda like the AA groups for families to help them understand their loved one with a problem? Congrats on your first child!

Hi, mrtim!!!
Yes, That would probably be the best thing; for her to get better educated about the ins and outs of BPism!!!
I suppose it's likely that she didn't fully realize what she was taking on, but taking it on, she has. Now the best thing is if she learns more about it!!!! You'll both feel better then!!!!
Good luck and take care!!! I wish you the very best!!!!!

What are these expectations?

I would hate to marry someone who did have this same disease; But it has got to be hard on our spouses. If I had know I was BP, and had the wisdom of age ,like I do now ;I wouldn't have married or had children. There is too much risk to the children, Mine both have mental disorders and will probably have troubles most of their lives(one is dead and one refuses to see he has problems or take meds). Sorry I can not be more cheerfull. The births of my children were the happiest days of my life. Enjoy.

Congratulations on the birth of your first child, I hope you realize the act of child birth with accompanying hormones and emotions make BP a walk in the park. She might be to busy with the newborn to go searching for a lot of education and she's going to be sleep deprived also. So why don't you visit NAMI or DBSA for her and gather some good pertinent information which she can read while she's nursing

Ask her if she's interested in coming on here to learn, it doesn't hurt to be prepared.

For your marriage to survive she needs to know what goes on when you're unwell & how to deal with things. Like any illness, you're in it together-in sickness & in health, right?!
If I hadn't searched the internet I don't know if I could have stayed with my bp partner, it was a confusing time when he was last hospitalised & if it weren't for the insight I gained from this wonderful site & it's people it would have been a lot harder.

There's a Friends & Family of Bipolar community on here, sometimes it can be good to set up a support network when things are good so you can be prepared for the rough patches.

Congrats on your baby,they're truely a precious gift :)

Excellent advice. I just want to add one. I found this book a few years after my marriage of 26 years ended because I didn't manage my illness and my wife didn't understand BP.
Julie fast at www.BipolarHappens.com has written a book with health cards that can be used to convey your current feelings and show a plan if things start to go south.
I've read it and I am sure it would have worked but I found it too late for us.
She has a free newsletter also.
I have written some helpful things in my October 7th journal that might help if you want to check it out.

Most mental health programs have something for education for family members. It is not often advertised. Check around and see what is offered. You may be surprised.

Localy for me there is a news letter and free education for family, but you would never kow it unless you were on the psych ward itself. Thats where the only advertisement is at, but its for all.

Hmmm... I have trouble following through on alot of things...

Sounds like to me you have a happy loving marriage overall...

my relationship failed with my ex because i lost focus on what was important. My family came first and I had to work for that to keep it.

Sounds like to me you are trying to do just that, put forth the effort to keep what you have and you'll be fine!

I think it's amazing, and commendable, that you're the one asking advice. I am on the other side and seem to struggle with doing too much to save the relationship, that I push him away.

You and your wife should look into attending a support group together. You will find other people who are going through the same things you are.

As difficult as it is for you to deal with your condition on a daily basis, your wife is equally dealing with it. The fact that you're concerned about her reveals just how important it is for you two to find ways to work through this. A lot of people would just throw in the towel. You're the exception to the rule. I applaud you!