I'm interested in hearing about all of this too. thanx for posting.

I'm not angry or pissed all the time, but it's always right under the surface, it scares me.

I am in a mixed state right now so I can tell you about that. I swing high and low from hypo to depressed within minutes. My head is racing, I am highly agitated, angry, even over stupid things. I want to throw things and break things or hurt myself. When I swing back low, I still feel agitated, andgry, but I am crying my eyes out for no good reason. This goes on forever unless I take an ativan to calm me down. I have never swung high to mania with schitz and I hope I never do.

I classify my different states of manic behavior: my favorite is the euphoric top of the world invincible feeling, I also have had rages so severe that it has caused me to have legal reprecussions, in addition I display very poor impulse control self medicating, shoplifting, etc. I'm an embarrassment to myself and that is why I have confined myself to self imposed exile.

I had one major manic episode in which I felt on top of the world, sexy, huge libido, invincible. I have had several episodes where what I really felt was extreme restlessness and rage. My mixed states and hypos are milder. But when I am hypo I have energy and feel more motivated, so I have to admit I like hypo.

Mania
Euphoric mania....feeling good
Dysphoric mania..feeling irratable ,rage,aggitation,get into fights,self mutilate,yelling.

Hypo mania ,th heavanly feeling of being on top of the world,but not topping over,into full blown mania.
Which can include episodes of dellusional thinking,hallusionations,phycosis.


And every thing in between.

Amazing. I just posted about this topic in the "I AM FRUSTRATED" thread.

Go help me out, please.

It's mostly what my shrink calls "dysphoric hypomania" I think that's the label for BPII mixed state -- what they used to label as agitated depression. When I'm not depressed I'm mostly anxious, angry and/or agitated. I don't get very many episodes of feeling just "good" but when it happens it's gold. I don't really know what to do with the underlying thread of negative energy -- it's affecting my work and certainly my quality of life. Interesting question, really, thanks.

Mine are more euphoric, anxious, obsessive and very driven or focused, like a cat after the kill, usually it is sexual, I feel sexy therefore I attract almost all men young and old (kind of scary), I seek excitement, risk and just outright FUN, shopping is a definite! I have gotten myself into trouble in my marriage with an affair because when I am in a mania I am looking for a new one, like on the hunt. I hate it because it is all consuming, I eat live an breath it, then the fantasies keep on coming until I am in trouble, usually sex outside of marriage. I am on meds now so it is toned down but I still get the semi highs, no lows on the meds.

I thought I was a weirdo until I found out I had BP. Can you tell be what I send out that makes men flock, I don't have to say a word, most are strangers???

Thanks that helps me a lot. Not to long ago I felt my mind racing, not a little but a whole lot. All I could do was sit on my bed and hold my head. That and sex all night.

The racing head was the worst it ever was.

I am diagnosed with BP Mania. All Mania all the time, and hardly ever any depression. I have to work on everyday just keeping myself calm and cool. It takes a lot in certain situations.

When I'm hypermanic, my brain may be doing upwards of 6 things at once. Word games, math games, making lists, watching tv, singing a song, talking on the phone.
My family tells me that my eye dart around for more input. They say I don't finish a sentence. They say I throw out a comment that makes no sense, because the entire conversation has been all in my head.
My heart beats hard and I kind of 'hear' it in my ears. Tinitis gets loud.
and bizarre, even my perspiration changes. Sometimes it's like I get allergic to my hair follicles.
I feel like I'm going to die if I try to slow down.
ick

just writing what I did, has got me shaking and my heart is starting to slam.
scared

Hypomania: I feel absolutely wonderful. At this point I do not have the negatives. Racing thoughts at 100 mph. Fun. Very fun. High energy. Super positive. Very busy bee. I love to be hypomanic. Low need for sleep. Ooooooooo, the first day of no sleep issssssssssssss fine.

Somewhat manic: Heightened sensivity to the 5 senses. Problems start. Lack of sleep starts causing problems. Eye strain. Muscle tension esp in neck and back. Racing thoughts at 150 mph. Not as fun.
It becomes harder to stay on track. Jumping from project to project in short intervals. Not getting as much done as the bike is changing gears toooooooooo fast. Still fairly manageable. Counter measures have to be taken. Pressured speech becomes harder to control. Instead of being a little talkative. Volumes. I am here right now. Do you see how long my note is?

I have to focus to let other people talk. I have to make..................myself.........s....l....o...w....................d
own ............or I get myself in trouble. I have to start watching people's nonverbal communication to make sure it is.......ok. I usually say........."Well,..........enough..........about
me..........How ......about.........you?"
Then I have to really focus on what they are saying and I have to work......very hard............not to finish their sentences.

Manic: Heightened sensitivity to the 5 senses that starts to become painful like whispering/talking/ or any noise drives me nuts. I am using ear plugs when this happens. Also I am more sensitive in my right ear, so I often plug that one and use my left ear to hear.

Eye/Light sensitivy can be painful. Regular sunlight is painful to my eyes. I am going to go buy me some shades.

Touch becomes painful. Don't even think about touching me.

Irritability increases R/T the the increased sensitivity. My body cries ..........overload!! With overload comes aggitation, irritability, frustration..........and
yes, if I do not stop the build up...................................................................
Anger.....................if I don't stop it.........................Rage. If I stop it before anger, I do pretty well. If I don't, then..................ooooooooooooo.....
Incredible Hulk..........."You don't want to see me when I am ...........angry." Very ugly.

Manic:

Extremely Manic: Racing thoughts 300-500 miles per hour. Extremely painful. I have to put my head between my legs and rock. Holding my head and blocking my ears. Really ............really..........awful.

Enough for now. I can expand if you would like.

Oh I thought this was something that pdocs made up. Irritablity, anger, rage, impulsivity, crying and depression are mania and depression mixed together. Never had the mania where I felt good. Live in a mixed state. I guess thats why they call me a beeper. Thanks for the insight.