I have had major depression on and off my whole life. I can't get motivated to do anything anymore. I get no more manias because of the medication, but still have depression. I sleep most of the day and try to take care of my kids the best I can. They look great and are perfectly normal kids, except for the effects that my mental illness has put in their lives. I feel I have neglected them alot and feel very guilty for this. I would have been a great mother. My dreams in life have gone and have no dreams or hope for the future. I cry still at times. Nobody knows what I have gone through and what I am still going through. My mom is very disappointed with me and I can no longer see her because she says something that breaks my heart everytime. Everyone seems to be mad at me and think I am just lazy or something, I don't know. I don't have any reason to go on except to be here for my kids. Will I ever feel better?
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