So I have been lying to everyone about how I"m feeling. I've been feeling so depressed for a few weeks now but tell everyone I'm doing great. I do things to show I'm doing great.LIke I force myself to the gym, force myself for walks and force myself to get out and appear happy. But I dont enjoy any of it. And when I get alone, I cry and wish this wasn't happening AGAIN. I dont want to be around my family, my friends, nothing. All I want to do is sleep or be alone. But the thing is, I have been even lying to myself trying to convince myself I feel great. But the truth is, I just dont. I'm too afraid to tell anyone becuase I'm afraid of being hospitalized again. As you all know, I just got out of the hospital after 2 and 1/2 months. I cant go back! and I'm under committment so its very easy for me to be committed again. I dont think my doctor has much patience with me left and she wont hesitate to hospitalize me again if another med combo yet again is failing to work. I dont think shes far from giving up. and my family wont hesitate to call her if they know how I'm truly feeling. so here i am for any advice??
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
I have my maxed amount of epidural shots of my cervical DDD....(and no one cares about my lumbar DDD)..... I've done physical therapy, muscle relaxers, Amitriptyline, Nortryptiline, desipramine.....narcotics... So I decided to go to a spine specialist and they have me on Gabapentin. Its been two weeks and it did nothing for my lumbar ever... but it did seem to help my cervical and arm/hand pain...