I am stuck in a bit of a love triangle. I am in love with my friend Nikki, have been almost since I met her. She's smart, funny, careing and sexy as hell. The problem? She's a lesbian. I'm not one of those guys that wants to turn her straight, I love her for her, just the way she is. She has dated guys before but the last one kinda screwed it up for me. He was a huge ass to her and to the girl he started dating after Nikki. So she said she wouldn't date any guys again. Nikki knows how I feel, I've talked to her about it before and it helped a bit, it made things less stressful for me to be around her but I still have these feelings for her. And now she has a girlfriend, who I like too but not the same. Veronica is really good for Nikki, I haven't seen her this happy with a girl before but, once again, my feelings cause a problem. Before whenever I was around them together I would get very upset and depressed and get quiet and try to hurt myself until Nikki noticed and took away whatever I had that would hurt me. I've been doing a lot better lately though, since they moved in together things have been good. But now the feelings are coming back along with the depression and I don't know what to do. She still knows that I love her and so does Veronica but she thinks that I'm going to try something with Nikki. I learned a while ago that nothing will happen between me and Nikki, no matter how much I want it to and it does hurt a little still. Nikki does care about me so she understands when I tell her things but at the same time I don't want her to know so that things seem normal between us. It's all just this big mess and I don't know how to get out of it.
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