I am stuck in a bit of a love triangle. I am in love with my friend Nikki, have been almost since I met her. She's smart, funny, careing and sexy as hell. The problem? She's a lesbian. I'm not one of those guys that wants to turn her straight, I love her for her, just the way she is. She has dated guys before but the last one kinda screwed it up for me. He was a huge ass to her and to the girl he started dating after Nikki. So she said she wouldn't date any guys again. Nikki knows how I feel, I've talked to her about it before and it helped a bit, it made things less stressful for me to be around her but I still have these feelings for her. And now she has a girlfriend, who I like too but not the same. Veronica is really good for Nikki, I haven't seen her this happy with a girl before but, once again, my feelings cause a problem. Before whenever I was around them together I would get very upset and depressed and get quiet and try to hurt myself until Nikki noticed and took away whatever I had that would hurt me. I've been doing a lot better lately though, since they moved in together things have been good. But now the feelings are coming back along with the depression and I don't know what to do. She still knows that I love her and so does Veronica but she thinks that I'm going to try something with Nikki. I learned a while ago that nothing will happen between me and Nikki, no matter how much I want it to and it does hurt a little still. Nikki does care about me so she understands when I tell her things but at the same time I don't want her to know so that things seem normal between us. It's all just this big mess and I don't know how to get out of it.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...