yes. ditto.

I have totally been where you are now. THe last two holiday season's were murder. I got out of a seven yr. realtionship and was used to all the good stuff that comes with it.
Do you think you can reconcile with your family?

Idea for you, try to see if a soup kitchen or nursing home needs any help during the holidays at least you will be around people and not alone.
Good Luck keep on keeping on and there is always DS to help when you have no where else.

Ron

Been there. When I was separated from my husband I swear the lonliness was like a physical ache.

Hope you can reconcile with your family.

I definitely know how you feel. I hate the holidays. In fact, the two times I have attempted suicide were around the holidays. The first time was right before Thanksgiving. Then, last year I attempted 2 weeks prior to Christmas. It always seems that mid-October thru early January that I just hit rock bottom.

this is the first year that i will be totally alone. both of my kids have moved out so i don't know what to do with myself. i get so lonely sometimes. it defeats me. it's like a huge weight and i can't move it. i would love to have someone in my life who could take me as i am. i've never had that. bp is a lot for someone to handle. the holidays are gonna be extremely difficult.

I feel that way everytime I go into a depression.

different perspective. i totally identify with the loneliness at the holidays. i haven't experienced it much, but the one time was pretty profound. i was alone in cincinnati and feeling a lot of self-pity. i decided to go for a walk downtown at twilight. the lights were so pretty, the air so christmas-crisp, people were carrying their shopping bags and actually being nice to each other. i spent several hours just people watching and taking in the moments. somehow the loneliness went away and was replaced by a quiet calm that i can still appreciate to this day.

Oh hon we're here for you. We all know how you feel. Most, if not all, of us have isolated and felt the loneliness.
A few years ago I had moved to the Southern Part of Maine to help my daughter while she went to college. I lived alone and while there I didn't know anyone except my daughter and grandbaby. No friends to speak of.
I knew I'd be coming back to northern Maine so I purposely didn't want to make friends to only have to say good-bye.

Oh God I was aching and lonely. I'm so happy I have you all. I'm living back in northern Maine now.. but I still live alone.
You have us. I hope you know you're not alone.

Holidays suck! More suicides and family disputes happen during the "holiday season", than any time of the year. The pressure to have that Norman Rockwell thanksgiving/christmas is so overwhelming, we feel inferior if we don't achieve it. It just sucks. I try my best, and if that doesn't work, too bad.
Add to that, being by yourself, on such a "important" day just adds to the grief, embarassment and labels you a complete failure. Stuff it! I'm alone, 'cuz I choose to be alone. I can change that situation in a heartbeat. But, I don't think I will. Chris, hang in... you're not alone. And quit beating yourself up, over it!
High five, bro!

Absolutly! It's a heartbreaking feeling. It usually stays with me for days & I can't stop crying.

permenently :( but im used to it now

I've been where you're at including the fact all of my family live in England. One suggestion is to go to an AA or NA meeting which they hold on holidays partly because of the lonliness people feel. You don't even need to be an addict or alcoholic because you don't have to share.

My sister lives in Arizona City AZ and she is always alone. Her family is all in New England. I know she gets awfully lonely 'roun' the holidays and since none of us have much money all we can do is send her cards. What a terrible holiday for again this year!!!!