Somewhere along the way I have lost my desire to be ok for everybody else. It seems like as long as I act as if all is well, do things that make others feel I am ok, then my family is happy. Well I'm tired of living a lie. Everyday, I'm getting more and more inclined to do for my own sake. Often feeling like what I really need to do is get away from them, and do what makes sense to me. This is really new ground for me. I guess I'm tired of being a team player. Not sure if this is a wise move or just a depression that I am experiencing. But each day it is harder and harder to live the role they are expecting me to live. I feel like the only answer for me is to learn to enjoy time spent alone with just me, or maybe me and my dog. I don't even want to see them or talk to them. It seems like they have all these expectations for me that I can no longer measure up to.
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