Well, Friday I was an absolute wreck. I was down and exhausted and I just couldn't take anymore. It was mainly an anxious feeling. I just wanted to curl up in my bed with a weighted blanket or a giant hug and not come out. That's not an option with 2 boys (one 2 on the 17th and the other just turned 4). My husband came home and I escaped to my room to read for a while. I started the book A Man Called Ove which I am enjoying.
Yesterday, I thought I felt better and then we went out. I got my shoes for the vow renewal and I went to the optomotrist to pick out my new glasses. I need progressives for the first time and I didn't realize just how expensive they are. That was really the beginning of yesterday's slide. Then, I went to the shoe store and felt invisible. Other people came in after me and no one acknowledged me for the longest time. My sons were outside sleeping in the car with my husband. I did buy my shoes, but I felt so bummed then. Dropping that much money, being hungry, and just being exhausted after those 2 errands made me just crash.
My husband noticed and kept asking if I was ok. After lunch I felt better but was clearly exhausted. I was flipping words around and I was yawning so my husband skipped getting his alterations on his suit started and we just went back towards home to do the other stuff we had to. We had to get a router and the guy at Staples asked if we needed help. My background is IT so when hubby started talking to the guy I got pissed off irrationally. It's hard though having been a female in a male dominated field with people who think you know nothing simply because you are female. I get defensive even though he doesn't know what I have been doing. So - that went well. LOL. Finally, we went home. I took a LONG nap. I woke up feeling better and we watched Blazing Saddles which made me laugh hysterically.
Now, I got a great night's sleep, but I have yet to do anything except an email to the florist about the vow renewal and schedule my alternations with the seamstress. I have to go buy a bra for my vow renewal before the alterations on Friday so I'm heading out to do that today. I am also making a roasted chicken with blondies for dessert today. It is so cold now and I thought comfort foods would be warranted. Please, give me warm wishes and strength that today might be a day of calm, happiness, and stability. Two bad days in a row is too much for me to ignore. After a third, it would be a call to the pdoc simply because when I go either way, I go hard and fast. I can't afford a hospital stay or partial hospital because of the boys.
How is everyone doing as we're finding our way in this new world for now??I have been way more tired....Sleeping more then usual I stay around the home a lot anyway so I'm not nearly as effected as some are and I have my wee Rascal to keep me companyToday is a beautiful sunny day.... I can really feel the Spring in the air so we'll be going for a nice social distance walk..... The new...
Today I got released from the psych ward/ insane asylum/mental institution. This is the 2nd time I've ever been locked up. This was THE WORST case of psychosis. I am so embarrassed. My first lock up was 2013. I'm in shock that my mind did this. I'm wayyyyyy to embarrassed to tell you what happened. I see my PDOC on the 22nd. I'm going to have to have to take STD LOA at work. I'm nervous they...