WE WILL GET THERE.

Well, because of my age and not the bipolar I feel like I might have another 18 years left in me.
I will never stay out until 5am and go to work at 8am.
I will never drink bikers under the table.
I will never drive my car 120mph on a windy parkway.
My BP will probaby get worse.
And..I will never live in Rhode Islang.
Oh..I'll prob. never sleep w/Hugh Grant.
But at least my BP is under control for the time being!

Keep your chin up, I am in the same boat. My marathon should have been over laps ago. I want to go back and use what I have learned about my illness to help me correct my past mistakes.

Personally.I don't expect much now.I spent so much energy on trying to live.I feel the cement around my feet setting a little more each day.


MORE COWBELL

Hi, Seeking!!!
How discouraging to put in such a long time and still be in the same place.
But I think that for many of us, there will never be an 'end' to our recovery. In fact, I don't think that recovery is the thing to shoot for.
The best that some of us can do is try to wring the most out of life as we can.
But one never knows where life might lead one!!! Great things might yet be in store for you.
I myself do not plan on dying. But then, planning is no longer one of my strong suits. Probably forget to turn up for my own funeral!!
Take care. I hope that your life becomes much more pleasurable!!!!

I hate to say this but I will, today you can live far longer and believe me when I say most of are still infants not having learned to walk. I am just learning to walk at 33 and I know from reading your journal you and I are on such similar paths.

But I have to ask though you can not yet walk you have accomplished more then most for the illnes allows for greater understanding and the ability to learn many vast contrasting yet unifying things. Most incapable of seeing the connections between them.

I believe its because of the was our synapes are working that they get redirected back and forth before getting to the end point or two hitting the same point at one time that we Love more deeply.

You may feel at the end as ou wanted to accomplish so much but you must look at what you have accomplished. Me I have lived three life times in my 33 years. I spent 5 years manic so I went to HS college partied w/o drugs or alcohol did not see the need I was alrady high. 50+ BF's two GF's married 3 kids 4 careers and I still am accomplishing new goals every year.

I still have major setbacks like this is one of those weeks. Luckily for me in true depression I am too depressed to do anything stupid too lazy to even take one extra pill or drink anything other then what is in my kettle on my bedside table.

You will get through this!!!!!

Peace Love and Light
Bridie

BTW look up the Three Treasures
simplicity patience and compassion... in the Toa Te Ching

I just said to my Pdoc.
Why are we trying to fix the unfixable?

I know some people find stability.Some people lead "sorta" normal lives.
But I wish ,that there would be more acknowledgement on this site...some of us are NEVEr going to find that magic combo.Some of us will wrestle and strugle and be defeated by this disorder.

Those of us who do this battle...love our friends on DS.We love the companionship,the support.But sometimes hearing"Things will get better"...gets tireing.
Because in some peoples cases....it won't.
And that is what wears us down.Knowing ,the rest of our lives will be spent in a battle that will ceaselessly keep battering our minds.

Now wasn't that a HAPPY POST?!!!

Maybe whoever is in charge decided this was it for me. Some get picket fences, suv,bouncy babies, some get skid row and crack addiction, I guess this is my life, its not supposed to be better.

Don't feel that way Seeking...we always have to strive for better.. Because sometimes it doesn't work, but sometimes IT DOES!!!

Dobers, that post was so moving I had to rate it! Seeking, things will get better! Think of all your friends and family who love you before you go. Think about what life has to offer. Think about beautiful roses, or waking up to the birds and sunrise at 5am! It is a wonderful feeling I wish I could do more often. Hope you get better soon!

Ok BipolarPrincess...I have no family. I know you meant well.
We don't mention family around dobiedots.
But I have great BP WhackJob buddies here!!
I hope we can have a THanksgiving Dinner on DS or I will be very depressed.
HEY....that's an idea! For people that don't have families or HATE their families. We'll have to work on this. Everyone will bring something!!!

HahaHa you must be joking!! RofL!!!

but, how the hell we supposed to eat thru the computer, no fair :(

bipolarpricess everything life has to offer comes with a price. I'm poor. Roses cost money. getting up at 5am is torture ROFL. I have no family or friends, i dont make ends meet. These are the cards that the creator dealt me and she said make do.

SeekingPeace..are you sure you didn't mean the creator delt us our cards and said "Make Do-DO?"

LOL!!!KINDA