Just wanted to let you guys know what's up. As you all know I have been on a high streak all day. I felt like I was on top of the world. Could handle anything and everything. But now I have crashed and burned. I don't know why I do this. I guess my meds aren't right just yet. I am down to the point of wanting to hurt myself again. But I refuse to do it. A few bad phone calls today set it off. Oh and I stubbed my toe and almost cracked my toenail all the way off. Ouch painful! So I have decided that since I do not have to work until Wednesday that I am going to take a trip. I am driving 5 hours with my dog to go and spend time with my mom. Right now I am a danger to myself and I realize that. I am all alone in the house right now. Well almost alone, have a rommate that locks himself away in his room all day. So I have decided that it would be in my best interest to drive home to be with my mom who can monitor me. She will take me to the hospital if I need to go. I will still be online daily. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day and I do not suffer yet another crash and burn. I am trying to be smart here and right now being alone is not smart. I have already taken my night time meds and am just waiting for them to kick in right now. I plan on waking up early and packing and getting out of here at a decent hour. I think this is best for me right now. I'll be coming home on Tuesday evening in time for my tdoc appt on Wed and to work Wed night. Wish me luck and safe travels.
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