I'm not so sure BP attacks your morals. Only if you allow it. Even when I see things and hear voices I know the difference between right and wrong. Sorry, but I do.

LIz: I lose all sense of morality, when I'm on a high. I don't care about anything! I concentrate only on myself. I don't care if I hurt you, in the process!

This a very negative statement I know, but this is how I feel at times. But feel only, I know better and depend on God to provide the strength to "try again". There is a liberation coming some day... but for now (and I ain't preaching, such stating my view - so lets not go there). Anyway here is the negative stuff from a king of negativity:

In the last chapter, Camus outlines the legend of Sisyphus who defied the gods and put Death in chains so that no human needed to die. When Death was eventually liberated and it came time for Sisyphus himself to die, he concocted a deceit which let him escape from the underworld. Finally captured, the gods decided on his punishment: for all eternity, he would have to push a rock up a mountain; on the top, the rock rolls down again and Sisyphus has to start over. Camus sees Sisyphus, who lives life to the fullest, hates death and is condemned to a meaningless task, as the absurd hero.

Camus presents Sisyphus's ceaseless and pointless toil as a metaphor for modern lives spent working at futile jobs in factories and offices. "The workman of today works every day in his life at the same tasks, and this fate is no less absurd. But it is tragic only at the rare moments when it becomes conscious."

Camus is interested in Sisyphus' thoughts when marching down the mountain, to start anew. This is the tragic moment, when the hero becomes conscious of his wretched condition. He does not have hope, but "[t]here is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn." Acknowledging the truth will conquer it; Sisyphus, just like the absurd man, keeps pushing. Camus argues that Sisyphus is truly happy precisely because the futility of his task is beyond doubt: the certainty of Sisyphus' fate frees him to recognize the absurdity of his plight and to carry out his actions with contented acceptance, which Camus argues to be a form of true happiness. With a nod to the similarly cursed Greek hero Oedipus, Camus concludes that "all is well."

In the last chapter, Camus outlines the legend of Sisyphus who defied the gods and put Death in chains so that no human needed to die. When Death was eventually liberated and it came time for Sisyphus himself to die, he concocted a deceit which let him escape from the underworld. Finally captured, the gods decided on his punishment: for all eternity, he would have to push a rock up a mountain; on the top, the rock rolls down again and Sisyphus has to start over. Camus sees Sisyphus, who lives life to the fullest, hates death and is condemned to a meaningless task, as the absurd hero.

Camus presents Sisyphus's ceaseless and pointless toil as a metaphor for modern lives spent working at futile jobs in factories and offices. "The workman of today works every day in his life at the same tasks, and this fate is no less absurd. But it is tragic only at the rare moments when it becomes conscious."

Camus is interested in Sisyphus' thoughts when marching down the mountain, to start anew. This is the tragic moment, when the hero becomes conscious of his wretched condition. He does not have hope, but "[t]here is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn." Acknowledging the truth will conquer it; Sisyphus, just like the absurd man, keeps pushing. Camus argues that Sisyphus is truly happy precisely because the futility of his task is beyond doubt: the certainty of Sisyphus' fate frees him to recognize the absurdity of his plight and to carry out his actions with contented acceptance, which Camus argues to be a form of true happiness. With a nod to the similarly cursed Greek hero Oedipus, Camus concludes that "all is well."

Sorry, that is gruesome and I don't really subscribe to it, but I can identify with the "feelings" it generates.

Sorry duplicated that by accident.
I won't contribute anything else since I am very tired. And need to get ready to go to a board meeting of DBSA in Northern VA.

That was a bit negative and I do actually agree with some of Otterheart's stuff - just needs to be balanced. I also agree with allot KH has said. The impact of this illness is real and all the "positive" talk just doesn't make it go away.

"You fight with whatever means you have! Tooth and nail! BP is a battleground!"

POSITIVE THINKING rather than negative thinking is a great means to fight with.
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"Knowledge is one of our greatest tools!"

Researching and finding ways and trying them to battle is how we gain knowledge.
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"BP's have been burdened with a disease that atacks your creativity, your morals, your self-esteem, your self- confidence, the bowels of your soul. "

"burdened" - negative

Positive thinking can help to overcome this negative feeling. I understand all you say here because I once felt like that myself. When I began to feel positive about myself and pushed away the negative thoughts of myself that had been instilled within me, I realized that I COULD sing, I AM pretty, I know right from wrong and if I choose to do wrong it is by choice and if I want something I have to believe that I can get it. If I think negatively, I can do nothing. For me, I believe in the WORD. Through HIM I can do ALL things.
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"We are compelled to create, but, we're controlled by our own creations! "

We create...I sing, act, paint, cook, etc. For my creations to be good I think positively. I controll the outcome. They do not control me.
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"But, we still have to work to pay for the gas, the electricity, whatever!"

Nothing good in life comes easy. It takes work.

Unhitched, I do agree but it can be tough - real tough. On a more positive note and again not preaching - just one of my favorite songs - the music is great..

David Meece, Early in the Morning.

Once a good young King came by
Early in the morning
Hope soared nearly to the sky
Early in the morning
Yet that first hope nearly died
With so little warning
The good young King was crucified
Early in the morning

In the stone cold tomb He lay
Early in the morning
Laid with Him the hope of day
Early in the morning
Saints and angels fearful, pray
Yearning for a dawning
Breaking on the silent grave
Early in the morning

Alleluia
O the bright dawn breaks
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia
O the sweet King wakes
Alleluia, alleluia

Long the anxious claws had gripped
Early in the morning
Now vanquished claws have slipped
Early in the morning
How the bragging dragon trips
Head, so high, now fawning
Mouth, denied, forever drips
Early in the morning

Alleluia
Empty claws proclaim
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia
Now the good King reigns
Alleluia, alleluia

Steady in the waning night
Early in the morning
Risen Morning Star our light
Early in the morning
Dragons breed again to fight
Fearful is their taunting
Yet, we trust, Lord, thy great might
Early in the morning

Alleluia
Saints and angels sing
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia
Praise the risen King
Alleluia, alleluia

As KH said:
You fight with whatever means you have! Tooth and nail! BP is a battleground!

Positive thinking -- indeed, something I am the queen of -- until a thief called bipolar depression comes and steals it the hell away from me and it exists no longer. Chemical mood shifts that have gone deep into the bowels of the darkest of places can not, in my opinion, be brought back up, by a posiitive thought. Once treatment is on board and meds are treaked and you're thoughts are clearer and you're feeling safe again, then and only then can you even begin to access the part of the brain that has any optimism to "think positive".

I love alot of things in my life... I'm just getting weary of trying to keep them!
Otterheart was just a little bit optimistic. Not everyone can follow in her footsteps. It can be quite frustrating, at times!

BP attacked, decimated, my morals.

I have no idea why I am still standing kicking and detirmined to go on. Grace?

Sometimes I feel like Mr. Magoo. clueless to the dangers all around me.

I know longer believe I will find "love" in this life, My kids will be grown and gone soon.

I think I will go to India and serve in mothere Theresa's home for the dying for a while. That would be a most excellent wake up call and important work to do.

and this discussion is KH vs. furry pawed me? Here! anck! I just bit your little toe!

Who wants to have a Memorial Day BBQ at my house today? Virtual of course.

I do Otter....the potatoe salad is done and delicious!!!!! LOL

KH and MHA, thanks for your comments, brings it back down to earth - the real world. My comments were clearly Bipolar --- talk about extremes. That's me though :-(

Otterheart: I have the greatest respect for you... it's just that I find your "eternal optimism" rather hard to swallow, when I'm wallowing around in the dirt!
Love ya.

Enjoyed your mania Roundtable. Worry not Knight of all that is humble and true.