I have had a rough couple of days since Thur. Went to my therapist on Thur. He was almost not going to let me leave his office because of the way I was acting. He thinks I need more intensive treatment,like the hospital. He called my husband and told him he was concerned. In session he told me that this is a very serious disease and I need to treat it as such, meanwhile I'm just trying to go on and forget that it exsists. He wanted me to call the p-doc, I said I called her a week ago and she had not called back, plus everytime I get in her office I just can't seem to talk. I have written ?'s down so when I go in I can be understood better. He said he is calling when I leave his office, I wonder if she called him back? I am so fed up with all of this ups, downs and in betweens. I slept for 3 days straight, Friday I slept the whole day. Today I went out and shoveled snow from 6am til 12 noon, I only realized the time because my husband came home from work and I was still out there from the time he left for work. Now here it is 4:30 am and I'm back to not sleeping again. Constant thoughts of suicide go through my head and I'm just trying to get by, hoping it will pass. Please do not let my impulsiveness get the best of me.
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