I'm new to this website. Just came across it today. Thought I would say a few words and see who's out there. I'm not having a very good day at all. I haven't had a good day in weeks. I was doing so well with my bipolar disorder. I hadn't had any symptoms of anything in years. Then I went in and had surgery in October. The pain medication I was on for months threw me into a manic episode which of course inevitably leads to a crash, which is where I am now. Everything seems so bleak. Everything from my how my hair looks to where I live seems horrible. I can't seem to muster up any positive thoughts at all. This morning I was telling my husband how I didn't want to be here anymore. I know I would never hurt myself, but sometimes the pain is just more than I can bear. I haven't done anything today except take the dog out for a walk and read a book. I feel totally worthless. I used to feel so good about myself and now I feel like I'm the worst person in the world. If I ever feel good again, I will cherish every day, that is for sure. To feel some light in my life would be a gift from heaven, one that I would never take for granted again. Anyway, I guess that's it for now. I just wanted to write something as a sort of introduction from myself. Please feel free to write me and tell me your stories of bipolar or depression. I'm a good listener and things don't feel so alone and lonely that way. Hope to hear from you soon. Take care, Mary.
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