ok so i'm finally at the sad point of realizing my marriage is 99% over. my parents and friends and sister are against me getting back together with him because they've seen our past tendencies, which i now know were my fault. but here i am with two beautiful children from two different fathers (which is sad considering they were both long term relationships and the only two people i trusted enough to sleep with..stupid of me, i know). but if this does end up in divorce, which i don't want, but he has distanced himself from me and has told me point blank he isn't sure he's in this for keeps anymore, which kills me. and i know rationally i should think things can be fine and i can move on but the meds aren't quite working yet and i'm hurt like hell, and want someone to let me know that there is hope beyond this absolute betrayal from my best friend who've i've known for at least 10 years, dated off and on and married for 2&1/2 years, i'm devastated and could really use any encouragement at all. i've considered just ending my life and leaving everyone else happy, but could never act on it because i love my kids too much (1 yrs old and 5 yrs) but i'm hurting bad enough that i can't get that stupid thought out of my mind. please help!
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