Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I would have missed alot of good things in my life if I died the first time I tried it, I have since found meds that work farely well, I have 2 wonderful kids and I have actually helped some people through their bad patches. Cancer is a horrible disease that destriys the body, bp can be dealt with and the body be intact
I think suicide is a tragedy that can be avoided, where cancer or ms cannot :))
To be honest though I do think it is your right to end your suffering. There is no god for me no afterlife, just an end to the pain. And frankly, I desire and deserve an end to this crap I have to live with in my head and heart. Maybe that makes me different from the regular bi-polar.
But yes I am suicidal, and I feel I have a right to end the pain.
What I do not have a right to do is hurt my children, or those who care about me. I wish I could get their permission, but I can't ask for it, and even if I did they wouldn't give it to me. I wish they would look at it as euthenasia. So that is why I fight the urge, the desire. That is why I take my meds and spend every ounce of energy trying to maintain some level of normalcy. That's why I wear the "mask" to work, and not let people in "real life" know me. Because I have responsibilities, people depend on me. And this in turn causes me to be and feel alone.
So yes, I want to die, and I think that would be ok, if it wasn't for the pain it would cause others. I often think of a car accident, or a plane falling on me, a heart attack, or anything that would give me what I want without me feeling or being guilty of hurting those that I care for.
Is that so strange?