My irritability is through the roof and I don't know who else to talk to that would even remotely begin to understand. I decided to go med free (despite the nurse going on and on about the analogy..."if you were a diabetic would you go off your insulin...no, cuz you know it'd kill you"). Anyhow, that alone set me off. At any rate, I've been unmedicated for about eight weeks maybe. She said 4-6 weeks and the meds would be out of my system. Well, the only symptom that seems to have really hit me hard is this irritability and anger that I have. Everything else has been great. My moods (outside of the irritability and anger) has not been shifting. The depression is well controlled, the anxiety is non existent, the PTSD no longer hits me, among other things. But this anger and irritability that hit me, its getting BAD. This is week two that its nailing me fairly frequently. Today I had my husband just sit in the quiet living room on the couch with me and I calmed down. Then I started to play a game on the computer a bit ago and I totally wigged out at the thing cuz it just wouldn't work. I seriously want to break something half the time (though I don't because my anger is controlled well enough). But dang, I hate to go back to meds after coming this far this long. Like I said, I've been doing well mood wise until this hit. And its getting unreal. Anytime I'm home, stupid things are setting me off. Something as little as stepping on a single crayon can make me angry now. Its just stupid and it ticks me off. I don't know how to manage this. I've never had to manage this without medication, and, while I don't have to continue managing this without medication, I choose to. I don't recommend this approach for everyone, of course. But, for me, for now, this is the right approach. I just need to figure out how to handle these symptoms without medication now. And I have yet to figure it out. Guess I'm just reaching out for some understanding and support to see if I can plow my way through this one. I've plowed my way through minor depressions, low energy, illness, you name it now. But I can't seem to plow my way through this one. Any help, understanding, support, anything, is really welcome right now. I'm getting so angry lately that I just want to curl up and cry cuz it frustrates me so badly. Thank you!
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