Hang in there Hon. I know it's a rollercoaster, and we are all on it. We're here for you. (((((((hug)))))))

Thank you. I know so many of us have this, but I feel really alone

It nice to hear that your go-round is merry. Welcome to the land of up an down and all around. We have fun here and help each other.

Welcome this is a wonderful site and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! I have found it hard to stay on my meds but realize it is best to stay on them. Kinda like the lessor of two evils!

please excuse me, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I'm not sure I can tell you anything that you will want to hear because all I have to say is your best bet sounds like the merr go round until the right meds for you are found.. I am so glad I rode it out as long as I did (about 3 years) even though I wanted to jump off so far that nothing could ever find me.. I am here 2 years later still thanking myself everyday for doing what it took to get to the point of taking the meds which saved and support my entire life now. my best of wishes go out to you

thank you.
I can't believe how many replies in just moments!
As for the meds. I've been on so many, all had such terrible side-effects. And because of the panic disorder sometimes I think my doctor feels I just want drugs! I'm at point where I just want to go to sleep and not get up.

Hi and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U! Im currently at the start of the journey i think. U kno that ur life is spinning out of control so why not giv meds anotha try - express ur fears and the doctor will do everything they can 2 make it as easy as possible - good luck and a very warm welcome; even tho im very new 2 all this meself lol!

I think I need to switch doctors. I know only one thing. I can't go off my celexa, the panic attacks are so maddening that I become suicidal. The dx of bipolar is old, I've done all the questionaire's and this one doctor said that I"m already on an anti-depressant and didn't need anything else. I don't think he is listening to me, on same note I go to him for med management of the panic disorder. When I am manic I don't bring up the subject with him (surprise huh?) Now I feel a crash coming on big.. I tried to call him to make emergency appt and he's away untl next week. I called few other places and am on wait list for appt. I know how this goes... this crash may pass and I won't look for help.. I know this.
My sister is also bi-polar, she became a heroin addict and finally after 11 years got help, meds and is on right path.

welcome! hope u like it here

Like jumping rope, i think you just have to get the rythm, and find a place to jump in!!
What is making you scared to take meds? It sounds like you already know the consequences if you don't...

you've found a great place with caring, loving people. we are all here for each other. in some cases, it's all we have. just ask for help, and you'll receive a hundred offer of help.

Welcome to the land of butterflies and lollipops. If your not seeing a psych you need to. GP doc's can't find their butt with 2 hands. Maybe a journal would help. Documenting can save you time at your appt. trying to explain everything. When my GP doc put me on zoloft for A/P disorder it threw me into a major manic episode then into a suicidal depression. Can happen when your BP and aren't on an anti convulsant. Right now my rollercoaster is in a loop. WEEEEEE!

I just started back on the medicine merry-go-round. Why, because I was going to lose everything that was dear to me if I didn't. I'm determined to find the right combo and am forcing myself to stay the course. There is too much good in this life to let this illness get the better of us. My meds for the evening are kicking in and I am falling sleepy - so can't right much more now. God Bless - hang in there and I'll check back tomorrow.

Ive done the same thing with medicine,went 9 years with nothing but prozac,There is so much more medicine out there now since I last took anything,I saw my pdoc for the first time and she put me on 3 new meds and 1 of them made me freak out really bad I got off of it, and now Im doing great,It sucks but once youre leveled out it will be worth it.Good Luck.