Thats what my head shrink said, that i'd have to be stable myself, before i could be in a stable relationship. But do i really want a stable relationship? Sure i usually end up either scaring them away or pushing them away...but does it really matter how it ends? The ups and downs of being in love or in lust are just to exciting and mesmerizing an experience...and thats what i'm looking for, seems to be what everybody gets and wants for...experience. I'm sorry but i'm not dead or a bloody zombie yet!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...