I know how horrible this sounds.. but things are happening in my life, and I see the pattern starting again.. I already have a major problem with being ignored by him, in times of need, but in general he is an ok man, who I dont want to hurt at all, sometimes I think I am only with him cause I dont want to hurt him, and to be honest I have nowhere to go.. Right before my mother died.. I started to find myself getting manic, and when I get manic I used to act out sexually, and bad... but have had it controled for about 4 years now.. he hardly ever has sex with me, because of his meds, but there are things he could do about it,, but wont because it isnt a priority for him..I have tried talking to him about it, and I have even written him a letter, he wont read it, saying "its just one big guilt trip' I feel so undesireable, so unsexy, so unloved.. I even went as far as to beg for sex from him, how shameful.. I am at my wits end, and dont know what to do.. I think with the death of my mom I need the closness and stuff that sex gives.. any ideas.. sorry if this offends anyone.. I am being serious tho.. love you all
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