Tell the doctor before you crawl too much into yrself.Tell them now.They will help you.
I had three suicide attempts, psychosis, beatings and crap in hospital.Tell yr doctor and stop lacerating yr own psyche.

Pluck did they beat you up in hospital?

Propper beat him up.

Tell your doc's, they will help you. You can do this :))

I just KNEW you'd pick on that !!

That had nothing to do with what you are doing here.You are already on the meds.You are on Lithium.
See the doctor.

Bite yr lip and take the trip.

You are just making yrself shit even more.Unnecessarily.
It will be ok.You aren't addressing the real problems.You are on Lithium.
You are suicidal.And you can say all these things and concerns to the doc rather than to many here who don't know the system in England.
We know GPs and psychs and PNS.
That's why I'm telling you straight.
Ask yr doc the meanings to Psychosis.Google it.Educate yourself first.

Otherwise carry on in unnecessary fear.

I was 28 when I got ill.I'm 38 now.

Get help now.

That's supposed to be CPNs

sorry.

GET HELP

I think you should tell the Dr. he might be able to give you something or change meds to help. When I get like this I make sure I have someone around in case I go over the edge. I hate hospitals also and try to stay out of them

I'd talk to your doc right away. What has worked for me in the past was to present my fear at the thoughts and not
say that I was determined to actually follow through.
The point is to get help!

Yes, there are valid concerns about the system.
Out of 3 hospitals I was in I'd recommend 2. Your doc will know whether a given facility is safe and effective. I never enjoyed hospital but then I don't think we're supposed to!

I've got my son this weekend so I will wait til Monday before I tell the doc. Do you think he will send me to the hopsital or change my meds?

They can be real wankers.

You are in some serious confusion right now which seems to be brought on by those who are suppose to be there to comfort and nurse you because they are payed to do that.
You need to stop the confusion and just go tell them. What's worse they'll treat you like you are anyhow. Get it over with and come back and give us the dirt on how it went. We want to know.

As far as whether your doc will send you to the hospital or change your meds I'll tell you what happened with me. I was having real suicidal thoughts but they were just sort of fleeting. I was also seriously considering taking a handful of non-fatal pills in order to get everyone's attention and convince them just how bad I was feeling. Anyhow, my pdoc asked me "Do you want to die?" I said no so I received a med change and no hospital visit.

Only your psych knows for sure what he will do. Mine tend to avoid the hospital at all costs and just adjust my meds. Sometimes it is a big waste of time, sometimes not.

I find that if I am honest things do work better for me with my pdoc. Lying doesn't seem to go for us. I have always wondered if all pdocs look at all bipolars as natural born liars????

The third attempt the psych said that my nurses voted NOT to put me in hospital after realising that it was the previous hospital experience, as well as the Haloperidol/Haldol fuck-ups that had made me suicidal.
The ones that HAD voted for me to go into hospital were the ones that fucked up.They were suspended and a manageress was sacked.

If I could stay out of hospital amongst all that shit, anyone can.

The hospital is now closed.
Please get help.It will be alright.You just need to have a certain bravery.I'm sure you have because of the topics you touched on and the concerns you addressed.

It took me all day to decide on whether I should do this reply, too.The RACE issue being the main raw nerve.
Peace.

Although I'm really sorry for you my concern is you are suicidal and caring for a child. If you are willing to wait a couple of days until you don't have your son makes me believe, yes you are suicidal but it's not imminant. I still think you should contact a pdoc or nurse practioner, if you have to take your son with you. I often take my kids to my pdocs with me when I don't have babysitting.

Paint your picture before your canvas disappears! Tell your pdoc about your suicidal tendencies. Ummm... he can recommend that you need to be hospitalized, but, he can't really send you there! The choice is yours.
I'd definitely tell my pdoc. Work from there. We all (I think) have suicidal tendencies, once in awhile... but, we ride out the storm. It doesn't consume us.
See you pdoc and explain a few things. Lay your cards on the table.

Don't be frightened but get the help you need and deserve. You can always acknowledge being suicidal to your doctor and see if he or she would agree to having a voluntary commitment. Just get the help you need regardless of how terrifying the prospect may be.