i used to do the same thing well not with the state thing but from job to job. it sucks after awhile.suicide is stupid cuz you never know the end of dancing with the stars haha. just stay on your meds and you'll find a job that fits you insead of a job that you have to fit

Thanks, Chuckm. Especially for the chuckle! (not seeing the end of Dancing With The Stars). Who is your fav anyway? I actually have stopped taking my meds, I can't afford them. I know that's one of the reasons I am so "on the edge". I just do NOT want to end up back in a psych ward. Thanks again!

I've been there too- going from job to job, but being both OCD & BP myself, I really identify with the "organizing it so well to fit my high standards " and the slack co-workers bit. We are people with extraordinary minds and unusually high expectations. unfortunately, the majority of normies could give a shit about organization and performing well at work...they are just there for a check. I was told by my pdoc that there was no ideal job for people like us and he encouraged me to apply for disability. As i was only 25 yrs old at the time, I resisted. Turns out, he was right. It was too stressful to deal with my perception of how things should be done and still be able to work productively alongside people that i didnt respect. By 26, I was taken out of work by Dr.'s orders and did apply for Disability. I was awarded benefits in less than 11 months and must admit that my stress levels are a lot lower. i still have a strong desire to work, but I have realized that what i felt was my failure may just turn out to be my mental saviour. Hope this helps!

I have done the same thing many times, but I have finally come to realize not only can I not control someone elses behavior and I can't control the outcome either. I can only do what I need to do for me. If that means picking up slack for someone else, then I try to remember I am meeting a need of my own. Usually keeps me from getting angry at the other person.

Now if you think suicide should be legal, please take the time to read the post that relate to someone who has lost someone to suicide. It causes a hell of a lot of pain for the person left behind. If you have even an ounce of compassion for others, you realize that suicide just isn't an option. It really isn't

Gosh, I feel so like you. I have changed jobs SO many times because of my co-workers and boredom once I could do the job. Usually 2 years was the max. I've been at this one almost 10 years. It is in the vacationing public field and I only have to spend about 5 min. with each happy person, but my lazy co-workers are sending me into rages. I just went out on temp. diability to keep from being fired. Hope to go back. My pdoc said I have to learn I can not change other people, but I don't know how to quit trying. My thinking is My way is the best way. It is So hard to have such high standards.

Or I forgot. I work for the state and we have a Code of Ethics about work place violence that states that if you attempt suicide you will be fired. I think they mean at work.

Thanks for all the advice and helping me to realize that I am not the only "perfect" employee out there. I have considered disability, but was told it takes years to go through. I may have to try again. Hapless, I will definitely try your way of thinking...I like that: meeting a need of my own. Good luck 3weasles on getting back to work. Kudos on 10 years!

Get back on your meds. Can't afford NOT to--I got Medicare b/c I can't hold down a job since age 45. Used to get all Excellents on my job reviews but got paranoid that my boss was going to fire me, so I'd quit (quit 5 jobs). Now, I'm early retired. My husband encouraged me to retire. You can get soc. sec. if your income is low & I got Medicare b/c my MDs wrote letters about the brain disorders (BP, OCD & seizures). Med' pays all my meds except Small copays ($2-$5) If you can't afford a good therapist find a group, there are groups locally. This is Urgent if you are talking suicide. It is weird that it's illegal to commit suicide. I worked at a police dept. for 4 years. Why it's illegal is based on ancient laws not changed yet. DO NOT suicide, hang in there!

Yes, Yes!! Me too!! The work thing is EXACTLY what happens with me..always gung ho at the beginning then I get bored and end up hating it..good to know I'm not alone!!

I'm also on Marriage #3 which has a good chance of becoming divorce #3. I have no staying power it seems *sigh* and it makes me really depressed when I think about it so I try not to think about it too much. I blame bipolar for all the starts and stops.

Please don't consider suicide..this is not your fault or a character flaw..it is the ILLNESS!! Besides, not only will you miss Dancing with the Stars, what about Skating with Celebrities or American Idol! :P

I opened this post thinking oh, someone has found the ideal job for me. LOL I should know better.

Anything arty farty or my job hamster sexer

I understand exactly how you feel and have the same problems with jobs, it's just the Bipolar Illness, it's not you so keep your head up and keep smiling!

Well I was in the military and i know what you mean by moving around, I lived in Italy, Guam, and I traveled to England. I have had many jobs and just like you I end up hating everything about it. Now Im on disability which I hated the idea but i just cant find a job i can do and the stress makes me very ill. I lose control it sucks, now i can afford my meds and can go to all my appointments. Im not saying to go on disability but maybe temporarily so you can get help.

Real Estate Agent...

make your own schedule...never a dull moment....meet some pretty awesome people...make a hell of a lot of $

Hear ya. 25 years of work hell, now on disability. Freelanced in home office just before then.

If I had known myself better, sooner, I would have trained for a job where I worked totally ALONE, like in a laboratory or something.

Get some meds.

I know, I thought someone had found the perfect job. I often wish there was an employment agency for bipolars.