he is the one that is missing out wink wink!!!!!!!!!!

Masters and Johnson reports that the averge married couple have sex 1 or 2 times a month.

Maybe it's time to go in and talk to him,he's in is mid 40's with a hottie wife...maybe he's feeling insecure?

aw, I'm sorry you feel that way. As someone who has been married over 20 years I can tell you that interest does wax and wane. It's all a cycle, something us bps should be able to understand.
Have you tried talking to him about it?
Get in there and instigate yourself.
And looking at online porn is not exactly an uncommon occurance.

I don't really care about the porn, its just the fact that he hasn't come to men in awhile. I am always the instigator and I do get rejected. He is always falling asleep at fucking eight o clock at night.

whoa, I meant me in awhile, not men. LOL

Married 21 years. Sex goes up & down. You say you don't turn him down for sex--do you initiate often? Guys like that. BP is not a reason to hate you. Start sending him SEXY emails since he's hooked on the computer. Porn is not a sign the guy doesn't love you. Guys just like Porn!

Really hard to decifer things such as this without knowing the whole story...or having a degree in counseling :)
Suggestions I'd give to any friend is to talk to your therapist about it, possibly seek out marriage counseling, make sure you are following your BP plan, and maybe even confronting him about it.
He may have demons of his own that he doesn't want to look at - maybe being on the website helps him excape?
Best wishes to you and your marriage. I know how difficult it can be.

1 or 2 times a month?????

Oh my Lord, We have it almost nightly, am I a freak?

As for you...I agree with dizzy but that does not help much does it.

Have you tried to discuss this with him? Maybe ask him to go to your therapy appointment and then bring it up there with a moderator for help.

Do you attack him (Not being crude)?

If you have not discussed it with him, that is your first step for sure!

I have discussed it and he will instigate the next day if I cry about it or something, and it seems contrived. Then everything goes back to normal.

Abbie,
I'd talk to him about it, seriously. I have the same issue with my wife. She rejects me. We talked about it a few times and she tells me that she can't feel intimate with someone that is miserable alot. I know how you feel, believe me. It's been over 6 months for me. I'm sure he doesn't hate you. It's hard for them to make that connection when you're up & down with them. Have a heart to heart with him and tell him how you feel. Hopefully you get a reason that you can work thru. Hasn't helped me, but it is the only rational advice I could give. Good luck.

Wow how long have you been married

not long. We have been together for three years, but married for a year and a half.

ThomasB sorry I didn't give her better advice!! jsut this issue is something I am dealing with also so I didn't want to give any info that would be bias towards how I feel right now. I hope this helps much thou!!!

That statistic about 1 or 2 times a month freaks me out. I would have to die.

what did he say when you discussed it...did he say there was something wrong or was he just to tired hence the early bedtime?

If it is the later, might be something to discuss with his Dr...may be lacking something...simple blood test would tell.

Does he snore? Tired alot during the day...could be sleep apnea if so which could make him too tired for sex at night.