I have been deeply depressed for at least 3 months now. I called to set up an appointment with a pdoc when I first moved back then and it's still a month away b/c they're so booked. I see my therapist tomorrow, but that's only to tell her I would like a referal to another therapist in their building. I don't feel her direction is the one I need. I'm in agony. I'm 27 weeks pregnant and the idea that this could all cause a premature birth scares the hell out of me. I wait until my husband goes to work and break into tears b/c I feel he's too busy to keep hearing about it though he's been supportive. Right now the only thing keeping me here is the little one. I have a big belief that if you take yourself, it's not right to take someone with you. And I'm afraid to try, b/c what if I survive and am left with a messed up kid b/c of my actions? I am so scared and so alone. I have looked everywhere for some relief. I look for reason's as to why I am depressed but can't find one, I just am. I don't know what to do anymore.
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