Sorry youre feeling so bad. Id hellp if i could. i'm in bad places right now. (hugs)

When you stress out it will make it worse....take a few deep breathes and calm down....or it will get worse....Just find something to stare at ...totally focus on it...slow your breathing down and it will stop...once you calm down!

Can you call your pDoc tomorrow morning? It
sounds like you need a medicine change pretty
quickly. Put on some music, get into bed and
pull the covers over your head. You won't be
able to see or hear the hallucinations.

You need to call your Pdoc ASAP.If they are really that bad think about going to the ER.You probably need a med adjustment .

i dont have meds anymore.
had to stop taking them last year, and since then this is what happens to me
just tired...

AND FUCKING SCARED OUT OF MY MIND!!!
I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!
THEY ARE RIGHT.
I AM WORTHLESS..
I SHOULD JUST DIE, JUST LIKE THEY WANT...
ALL THEY WANT IS FOR ME TO GO AWAY...
SO..
WHY THE FUCK NOT?!?!?!?!?!?1
IT'LL MAKE IT STOP FOR ONCE!!!

:'(
thank you all for your help.
guess you have wasted you time with me.
sorry for posting this.

no one is worthless and no one deserves to die. If you chose to go out that way thats your choice but its definately not the answer. I lost soneone to suicide ten yrs ago and ver been the same. Think of the ones you will leave behind , and people do love you. Why did you have to come off your meds last yr?? Have you thought about going back to you pdoc ?? instead of liveing in a daily hell!!

Just don't be alone. If you can, go to your nearest ER. Your health is the most important thing and your life is precious. I don't understand why you're not on meds, I'm not sure what I missed.

Please, get help. There is free and low cost help available.

xoxo Jen

i had to stop taking my meds last april cause i lost my insurance, and couldnt pay for them or my theropy. so i had to stop it all..and since then, i have that happen to me almost every single day...its quite scary and horrifying to me. especially when i am alone and stuff and no one is around to comfort me...it just gets to the point where i am like "you know demons, whatever you are, fine! just go ahead and kill me! take me to hell with you. whatever!" ...cause the pain and being so terrified is too much to take. i havent had an episode ever last as long as it did last night...almost 2 hours...until i was finally able to cry myself to sleep...

thank you all for caring enough to try to help me out. i just dont know what is causing this, or why my hallucinations seem so angry with me when they come...its scary, but i really take comfort in having such great friends to give support and friendship.

thanks to you all,
-megan
**HUGS**

You need to go to the ER and get some help. I know you can't afford meds but from what I understand some doctors waive fees and can give you samples of meds

I just don't understand our society. If you had juvenile diabetes, would you stop taking insulin just because you lost your health insurance? If you had cancer, would you worry about the cost of chemotherapy? Why should it be any different for people with bipolar?

You should go to your doctor and ask for samples. Then contact the Partnership for Prescription Assistance (toll-free, 1-888-4PPANOW, 1-888-477-2669; www.pparx.org) to see if there is an organization or the actual drug manufacturer who will provide you with the medications you need to live a more productive life.

If you are alone now, please call someone and ask them to come and be with you. If you are unable to get someone to be with you, call the crisis hot line, or call 911 and go to the emergency room. You ARE worthy of receiving medical care even if you can't afford to pay for it right now. Get the medical help you need and worry about how to pay for it later.

thank you all for your support. i just found out very recently that i qualify to recieve medicaid again. i am working on trying to get to my theropist and my doc to get my theropy going again, and hopfully get back on my meds. i really appreciate everyone here taking the time to respond to this. and appreciate each of you being so kind and giving your personal thoughts and advice on this.

thank you all.

lots of love and hugs to all,
megan