talk away...i don't know what i would do in your situation, probably the same thing...no advice for you, just lots of hugs and puppy kisses...

talk away, hope we can help, you help me tremendously. hugs

Sometimes I get so mad at that kid. I dont even know what to do with him anymore. My heart aches so much for him but he continues to make dumb mistakes. It might be different if he was mean or biligerent, I could be mad without guilt or hearache. But he is so sweet and funny. He is the one who has always been there for me. He always knows when I am down and trys to commfort me. Ugh

Im sorry Shelly. On a lighter note any son named Michael usually you know. Maybe a blessing in disguise it may be enough to really help him stay clean. Many young men go to jail for a couple days, they will set bail probably within 24 hours and seeing that he turned himself in the judge will be happy with that. Cry if you must then pull up, and take care of you. Please!

i can't really presume to advise here because i'm not a mother, but i can tell you that you're one of the people who has made me feel so welcome here. i'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough time right now, but you're not alone in that so remember you have friends here who will listen and be there for you whenever you want to talk :) i'm sending lots of positive thoughts and love your way!

ohhhhhhhhhh empathetic heartbreak. Thank God for protecting him. I've found affirmative prayer is more effective, expresses faith. I will pray for him too. Why is the some of the world so ugly. compassion for you.

It's called being a good parent, Shell. And if the oldest has been in and out of jail, perhaps you are afraid that this will only be the first for Michael. Be there when he turns himself in, and be there when he gets out. You're a strong lady. You can handle any of life's punches.

Thanks guys. I think the hardest thing is letting go and the burried guilt I feel sometimes. Both my oldest sons are drug addicts. Both addicted to opiates (pain killers). Michael has been clean a year and has worked hard to stay there. I sometimes let my thoughts wander to their addiction being my fault. Somehow I failed them. Maybe when my bipolar disorder was so bad when they were young they couldnt handle it. I dont know. In my heart I know better, but my head plays stupid tricks on me when I am depressed. Hugs

Well Shelly I know your familiar with my family situation with my two sons, both of them use pot and the 14 yr old drinks (and he's a juvenile diabetic). I can definitely relate to the pain of your child being locked up. That's exactly what happened to my 13 yr. old when his BP was so out of control. He had been hospitalized twice within 30 days of being locked up, finally the behavior was more than we could even bear. My wife did the hardest thing in the world and pressed charges against our son. He ended up spending 29 days in lock up. To say we were frustrated and guilty would be a understatement. Parent's tend to blame themselves for their children's behavior despite doing everything in their power to encourage acceptable behavior and reaching out for the treatment he so desperately needed. We later came to find out that one of the meds he was taking at the time had a side effect that was creating much of his behavioral issues. Interestingly, after being removed from the med and it being replaced with another his behavior became much less aggressive and violent. We still have very intense issues we are dealing with even with his improvement. He continues to manage to get in trouble and it has become necessary to keep him inside our apartment and escort him if he does go somewhere, he nearly was violated by his probation officer at his last appointment because of the pot use. However, his probation officer recognizes the family dynamics and asked our son to meet him half way and try to stay away from pot for the next month. He has another appointment on Dec. 17 and will again have a drug test. If he fails, he will serve the time for the charge that he's on informal probation for; which happens to be 6 months to a year in juvenile hall. Further, once he serves that time he will be placed in a group home for a period of time. It's very daunting and scary for both my wife and myself to think we could lose our son for quite sometime. We currently have intensive in home county services assisting us with his psychiatric needs having access to services on a 24/7 basis. We are doing everything we can and cooperating with authorities and getting every resource we can think of including him be placed recently in a special behavioral program at school also. I believe both my wife and I are coming to the realization as a parent there is so much you can do and hope for. We pray for the best and hope that our son does find his way...in the end he will ultimately decide what becomes of him by the choices he makes. Hopefully the help, modeling, and most importantly the prayer for him will be enough to turn his life around.

Be strong, baby. Be strong for him.

gh, I am sorry, I know you are struggling terribly with your son. It makes my situation seem so small. But, we do as parents tend to blame ourselves even when we know in our heart we arent at fault. Thank you SammySue, you are so sweet. I just ask that everyone pray, if you believe, or if you dont. I just want him to be safe and learn from his mistakes. Hugs

I am so sorry to hear you are going thru this.
This is the harder part of being a mom the letting go .My heart hurts for you guys.We are here when you need us.:)

Oh no your situation isn't small...it's just a big to you as our son's is to us. We love our children and want the very best for them and sometimes circumstances outside of our control create situations. I truly do understand how you feel and do pray for you and your son. He's a brave young man to understand his mistake and to turn himself in, that goes a long way in the eyes of the judicial system. Lots of hugs and support for you my dear friend.

Thank you Christi. I am going to go to bed and knock myself out. I dont want to be awake when he goes. He wants to go alone so I am going to let him and just pray it all goes well, thank you so much for all your support. I love you guys. Luv and hugs

You will make it - just hold on. We have to let go - just like when they learned to walk we could not hold their hand forever. It is hard I know I have been there and I cannot give you "the answer" but to say you will make it. Just be sure to remember we are all here for you. Love and hugs