yes he is. unless you just want the sameting he does, don't go

so your saying that he is only toying with me?

while I can understand taking things one day at a time, you are looking at the future and wondering why he doesn't want to be with you for the long hall, i think you two have differnt needs. if you want more and he can't give this to you i would leave well enough alone and move on no matter how hard it is, it will get better and leave you open to new ppl.
best,
tori

Hey. Just quickly read what you wrote. Have have said that you know he only does want one thing. And if he does really love you, he'll be with you. Not just call you when it suits him. Tell him what you think about it. If he says he doesn't know or he isn't ready: Be strong and walk away, because it will only bring you down in the end.

if he wants you like you want him... he'll act like it. sounds like he needs sex. If that's what you're looking for then no problem, but if you think comming to him whenever he "wants" you is going to make him stay with you, I think you might just be wishfull thinking.

oh..
i dont hang out with him everytime he wants to see me.
and when i do go see him i make it to where we are out doing something.
he usually initiates the hand holding and the couples stuff

Sounds like he needs to grow up and decide what he wants. Dont make yourself so available.

lol, i know he needs to grow up..
i dont make myself available.
im just trying to make my marriage work with him

I had an ex like that kept calling me for years. At first I was still so in love with him that I kept falling for it and would meet him but as the years went on, I got stronger and met a great guy and told him the last time he called to take me off his cell phone that I was no longer interested. I told him if he would like me to meet him I would be glad to but I would be bringing my new man along with me. That did the trick and he never called me again. I know it is hard, but try to remember that there is a reason he is an ex and not the guy you are with now. Don't go back because you are lonely and or because you have no one else. Be strong and call a friend and or go out and stay busy to keep your mind off of him. Don't answer when he calls you will only be tempted and will find it impossible to say no. Give it time trust me you will get over him. Don't be his booty call, because if he knows that all it takes is telling you he loves you everytime to get what he wants trust me he will do it over and over again and you will be disappointed. I know I was. People rarely change so if he was a jerk before, he probably still is. My advice don't answer the phone and move on.

Hey edsnancy -
I am currently going through the same thing and am feeling quite pathetic for it. I say everyday that it is over, I'm done, but I answer and go over there and am so very very nice. Most likely they are screwing with us. He doesn't want to get back together - every mention makes him squirm - so F it , right? Ug. How to get out of it. I dont have any advice for you - but I am here to commiserate.. that usually helps me.

Repeat after me:

"No more booty calls.
No more booty calls."

We teach people how we want to be treated. This is what I learned last time in the pysch hospital.

yes, and I would let him go right away.Ron is right, but even then I would get from someone else.

He might only be thinking of "the right now too" and then later is not wanting to commit.

I agree with Ron, yes, he's being a total bastard. I know how hard it can be to try to distance yourself from someone you love but who's also hurting you. My best advice is to not answer the phone when he calls, if needed turn the ringer off so you won't be tempted. It's gonna take a lot of hard work, but with baby steps you can do the right thing for you. Make sure you are taking care of yourself first and foremost.

After reading everyone else's posts I really can't add anything. they've pretty much got it covered.

God bless, and take care.