I have a fiance, and together we have a beautiful 2 yr old son. He is a wonderful man. I love him more than anyone in the world. He has his flaws like anyone else, but that doesnt normaly bother me. Lord knows he has stuck by me through times when anyone and everyone else would have left me in a heart beat. And I love him even more for that. Here's the problem. We are supposed to get married in Sept. He still doesnt even kind of understand BPD or know anything about it. Nor has he tried to leard. When I am cycling (like now) which happens to be a lot right now I really hate him. Everything about him makes me want to leave. I can't even imagine getting married in sept. I don't understand my BPD yet, how the hell can I expect him to. I feel like this mariage is already doomed to fail because of the BPD. I fucking hate BPD right now and always. I know I am meant to marry him, but I also love him enough to want him to have a happy and functional life and wife. I'm scared I won't ever be able to provide that. AHHHHHHHHHHHHhh.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...