So, I was trying to have a civil conversation with my mom, like always, and I get huffy because she says I wasnt like this at 13, when infact I was just not this bad. Maybe If she took time out of her 'busy' schedule she would of seen that. So I hung up on her, threw the phone, yelled at my husband and walked out for a smoke.. my heart racing, thoughts running through my head, wanting to cry, now I feel nauseas and tired.. I am so sick of this.. I know If I take the medication prescribed it might help but I just don't know.. How can I even clean a house like this?? One wrong word and I might snap on the customer... I can't just quit these jobs, I need them because I can't find another job right now, and even If I did, I probably wouldnt be there long because of my anger, and the benefits from SSI wouldnt even begin to be enough, especially If my husband and I had a child someday. This is so frustrating, why would I even want to bring a kid into my messed up world... I need help :(
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