This might not make sense who knows but I have nothing left here to live for, and worse nothing to die for. People at work have gone behind our backs about the age difference and he cant go on with the judgement of others so hes left me and now hes hurting and im hurting and i cant do it without him i just want him here. When its just us we are perfect but he cant deal with the judgement of others anymore. I'm hurting so much and I have never felt more suicidal. But if I wake up and he doesnt i'll live with that guilt the rest of my life. Life has always tried me and this is the final straw i've been tipped over the edge and i cant fucking do it anymore i dont know what to do i'm just so lost and i want him here. Time cannot heal me, the world has betrayed me, and all I can see is darkness. I dont know what to do. I just cant do this, I'm out of strength.
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