this depression is killing me. i called the pharmacy for refills and the clerk who knows me said i sounded down then when i got there she said i looked crabby, i said welcome to the world of bipolar as i stood there in my pajamas. i can't take it. i did so well for a while after i od'd. i still want to take a walk in the woods far from home and end it all but all i have is pills and i don't want to end up a vegetable. i want to know which ones will kill me. we have guns but the bullets are hidden and i don't know how to use them all i have is meds. i have an ect tomorrow and spent the wknd with my mother instead of going to the hospital. if i call my husband he will be pissed, the kid is at school and has a key to get in and will be ok til husband gets off at 4. she found me the last time and i don't want anyone to find me this time.
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