Just got home today from a wonderful trip to Puerto Rico with my 10yo son. We were visiting family and he loved it and so did i. Got home at 1am and i've been crying since 3am unable to sleep feeling horrible. We were in such a rush when we left for our trip i forgot to take out the garbage... we left the towels on the floor... i was feeling so down before i left i never even realised how messed up the apt looked. Now i get back and i look around and i feel like shit because this place looks Nothing like my mom's place... its crowded and looks dirty and cluttered... and i HATE IT. I do NOT want to be here. I say i'm home but its Not Home... I feel like i'm letting my son down... like i'm not being a good mother to him and like its all out of control and we've only been back 4 hours... I don't know what to do and it ripping me up. I want to go back to Puerto Rico... i didn't want to come back and neither did my son but we had no choice. Its nights like tonight that i Hate myself.
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