Im sorry to post here. Im not sure i might i have bipolar or maybe schizoaffective disorder but the nhs psychatrist wouldnt see me. My gp and private therapist are fighting to get me seen atm.
just feel crazy and insane and it feels terrible irritated and yet i feel a evil laughter in me and it halirous too at same time.
My minds been starting to be buzzing, going non stop, obessing over everything. Small things, big things, stupid things. Research this, reasearch that. Im paraniod. I think about situations that probably wont even happen ever.plotting, planning.
I scared theres people living in my walls.i see their shadows and hear them.i cant sleep they scare me.
Im hearing voices in my head. They are laughing. I personally think i should maybe take my chlorpromazine again ( sedative antipsychotic) but the voices in my head laugh and tell me no.ive not taken them in ages. They tell me i can be powerful and do amazing things if i let this carry on out of control. I can become amazing and almighty. I can go do fun things. As long as people arnt following and watching me, everything i do and say. They dont work it out.
It feels so bad and so good at same time.
Is their plan against me all along? Is this what they wanted? Send me crazy?
Gramybear and Molly were attacked by a wild dog (I suspect due to the fires). Molly didn't make it. This is so sad. We need to send Gramybear our love and prayers. She is such a sweet person!
We always ask about favorite foods, but Everyone has foods the really dislike. What food do you not care for?I really don't care for bell peppers, cilantro or sauerkraut.