My moods have been all over the place more than usual. I've been snappy and irritable with my bf and feel like he doesn't understand me, or isn't willing to try. I had to cancel my drs appt. last week and probably won't see my therapist (who said he'd call yesterday and didn't) or dr. until the new year (only 2 weeks away). I sometimes think this site will help, but sometimes I think its just making things worse. I feel like there are so many people out there that need help more than I do ... And I can't goof off and have fun because I'm feeling too down. I'm starting to feel the numbness of the new meds and it scares me. I know that that is what they are supposed to do, but I feel like I'm loosing myself. That all I have to be is despondent or euphoric, nothingness lies inbetween. I'm afraid to ask for help for fear I'll be shunned. I'm afraid that there's nothing wrong with me other than lack of coping skills. I don't know what to do. I was in such a good place this past Spring and now its been downhill since October. The last few days have been really weird, I know that the med. is starting to work and that's why but I feel very despondent right now ... just wanting to cease to exist, but too lazy to take my own life (I can't deal with the aftermath when I FAIL again.) I'm so sick of feeling this way and feel as though it will be with me for the rest of my life. I thought I was on the other side a few days ago, but now I'm back again. Now I've talked too much, I'll post this and go away and check my email alerts later ....
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...