My heart just aches today.. the sadness is overwhelming.. I feel as if I am gonna break..im serious.. it physically hurts..i dont like myself, and feel unloved and unlovable..I keep on trying to hide it.. but it is slowly starting to burst from me.. the tears.. my heart is just hurting so bad..I have such a horrible memory, I have been trying so hard to bring back happy memories.. but the only memories I have been able to get into my head (and unable to get out) are memories of my rape.. memories of my baby girl dying in my arms.. memories of my daddy dying..horrible memories.. cant get them to stop.. memories of horrible things I did while manic and psychotic.. I knew this was gonna happen.. I have been UP for about 3 days now.. and here is the crash.. falling so hard.. please catch me..
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so much stuff happened this yr that so much of it is hard to deal with. I have decided to go forward in my life without my family . They are just not healthy for me . I am trying to only be with people who accept me for me and leave people who don't make me feel good. From my mom being so mean to me and telling me I was a fuck . Imagine that my very own mother who has lived in my home for the...
In the old days if someone went missing even for a few days someone would post. 'where's Gina? or Pagan or Ruby or Dobie or Dancing D or Precious or ML or Jan or Mojo or Curious or whomever. am very sad to see that aspect of DS gone. Has everyone left or what is going on? thoughts? I mean where the hell is Tommy?