I don't know what to do, but I contacted a boyfriend from almost 15 years ago, and am doing nothing but checking to see if he has answered my message. I feel like I'm becoming a bit manic because I said some things that may have been a bit too intense for not having seen him since we were 18 years old. The thing is, he was the ONE, at the time anyway, he was my first love. There was never any closure to the situation, and after he left me I believe I had my first experience with bp. It literally felt like something in my brain snapped, and I went on a massive rage, hurting myself and coming close to really hurting others. Now I feel I have become weak in trying to find him, even thinking about him. Now that I've pushed that send button I can't do anything, eat, sleep,s tay focused on work. I can't do anything but wait for acceptance or worse yet, rejection. 2 days ago I felt like a confident woman, and now I feel like that teenager who had her heart broken.
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