I am feeling like i just want to end it all the only thing that is keeping me alive are my 3 boys and my mom is trying to take them from me because as she says i cant control my moods or my depression when it gets bad it gets really bad we had an argurement this morning at 4am about how i should just get over being sad and stop crying but she doesent seem to understand that if it was that easy i would have done it years ago. She told me she can no longer be a support system for me because i have drained her over the years with me being so sad all the time. That leaves me with being all alone which is not a good thing i cut myself for the first time this morning after our fight i am in so much emotional pain that my body was numb to the razer i did not even feel it but for some reason it made me feel a little better. I know thats not a good thing but i just felt a weird need to do it this morning like i said it was my first time and i dont understand what made me feel like i needed to do it. Somebody please help me understand and give me an idea of what eles i can try to do to get some sort of releaif in my horriable misrable life.
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